In the days after you have gone no-contact, recovery from narcissistic abuse feels like an out-of-reach fantasy.   Narcissists leave a part of themselves inside of us after they’re gone. No matter how much you wanted to go no-contact, once they’re gone, it feels as if the narcissist has unceremoniously ripped out a part of your own body. [See The Ultimate Narcissistic Abuse Dictionary to review unfamiliar terms] We’re left sitting in shock, bleeding, wondering how everything that just happened doesn’t affect them.  Yet, despite their absence, it’s as if somehow, they’re not gone at all. In our minds and bodies,...

If you’re in love with a narcissist, I’m sorry to say it, but you’re in a cult. How does it make you feel to read that?  Dismissive of words that sound alarmist?  Angry that I would put victims of narcissistic abuse and cult members in the same category?  Shocked that your experience of narcissistic abuse might have something in common with anything other than, well, others’ experience with narcissistic abuse?  If you feel dismissive of this idea, it may be because you have perceptions of cults that don’t seem relevant to your relationship.  For example, when you think of cults,...

Gaslighting is one of the most dangerous types of emotional abuse, yet gaslighting examples can be difficult to spot in everyday life. Why? It’s a covert form of abuse.  It only works because it’s invisible.  No one comes out and says they’re gaslighting you. Unlike more blatant forms of abuse, such as verbal abuse, the abuser can deny they are doing something harmful to you. This is why gaslighting is so effective.  If we have any emotional investment at all in a person who frequently gaslights us, this manipulation can create an almost insurmountable threat to our own ability to...

A childhood spent being raised by narcissistic parents who are self-absorbed, manipulative, and have little to no empathy can lead to serious adult life struggles. Narcissism is a broad term that describes not just a clinical diagnosis. It’s also a set of behaviors, attitudes, and language that involves a sense of entitlement, grandiosity, aggression toward others, and shallow emotions.  If this description already reminds you of one of your parents’ behavior, continue reading to check if your adult emotional issues result from parental narcissism. What is Parental Narcissism?  As J.N. Leggio, Ph.D., states in his doctoral thesis, parental narcissism is...

Healing from narcissistic abuse is a process, and the journey to recovery has many stages.  We can only begin to heal when the realizations we have about our narcissistic ex-partner lead us to an enlightened view of the relationship.   Yet, we can get stuck before we have these realizations if we do the wrong things. Below are seven things we should try not to do so we don’t get stuck on the way to a full recovery.  What to Avoid as You’re Healing from Narcissistic Abuse It’s tempting to fall into the traps below. Sometimes not doing them can...

If you’re with a narcissist, you may be dreading the holidays. You may already be familiar with some of the ways they try to ruin any festive or fun plans you’ve tried to make.  [Read: How Narcissists Ruin Holidays: It’s Not Your Imagination] Here are some ways to survive the narcissist during the holiday season and make it through to the next year with your sanity intact. Even if you’re in no-contact, it’s important to keep in mind that holidays are a prime season for trying to pull ex-partners back into the web. Therefore, I’ve included a special section on how...

A native of Ontario, Canada the author enjoys being a cat mom, a full time freelancer and fiction writer. She has written for plenty of blogs: The Canadian Stutter Society, The Haven, Aroga Yoga, The Hisdoryan, Women Writers Women's Books, Visibly Affirming, Rebelle Society, Historic UK, A Tribe of Women, The Good Men Project, and Elephant Journal. She has also contributed to the No Shame Mighty newsletter and the pandemic made website View From My Window.