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The Best Books on Narcissistic Abuse

If you’re looking for a book on narcissism or narcissistic abuse recovery, below you’ll find the classics, the newest releases, and most recommended anecdotally across the Internet forums.

The good news is that there are ways you can access many of these books for free. 

The first way is to try out Amazon’s Kindle Unlimited.  Kindle Unlimited (KU) is a book subscription service readers can join. Readers then pay nothing extra to download books that are in the KU network and can keep them for as long as they wish. You can try out Kindle Unlimited free for 30 days and read any of the books that are on in the network by joining here:

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You can also choose and keep up to two audiobooks for free by trying Audible for 30 days: 

    

Please note that Fairy Tale Shadows participates in Amazon’s affiliate program. If you click on a link and make a purchase, Amazon provides a small commission, which has no effect on the price you pay for the item or service. These commissions help defray a small percentage of the cost associated with keeping the website up and running. Thank you for your support! 

Books on Narcissistic Abuse

New Releases!

 

 

Classics

       

 

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Domestic Abuse Resources and Organizations

U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline
For any victims and survivors who need support, call 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-799-7233 for TTY, or if you’re unable to speak safely, you can log onto thehotline.org or text LOVEIS to 22522.

U.K. National Domestic Violence Hotline – 0808 2000 247

Canada – Go to this website to find resources within your province: https://www.sheltersafe.ca/

Australia Domestic Violence Hotline – 1800 737 732 – https://www.1800respect.org.au/ (live chat 24/7)

South Africa Stop Gender Violence Helpline – 0800-150-150

Other Crisis Websites & Hotlines

U.S. Crisis Text Number:  #741741

Canada Crisis Text Number: #686868 

Disaster Distress Hotline offered by SAMSHA – Call 1-800-985-5990 or text TalkWithUs to 66746.The Disaster Distress Helpline (DDH) provides crisis counseling and support for anyone in the U.S. experiencing distress or other behavioral health concerns related to any natural or human-caused disaster, including public health emergencies.

The Trevor ProjectCall 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678678. A national 24-hour, toll free confidential suicide hotline for LGBTQ youth.

Trans Lifeline – Dial 877-565-8860 for US and 877-330-6366 for Canada. Trans Lifeline’s Hotline is a peer support service run by trans people, for trans and questioning callers.

The National Sexual Assault Telephone HotlineCall 800.656.HOPE (4673) to be connected with a trained staff member from a sexual assault service provider in your area.

Updated  3/14/2021

Kristen Milstead

Kristen Milstead is a narcissistic abuse survivor who has become a strong advocate for finding your unique voice and using it to help others find theirs.

18 Comments

  1. Michael Alan Taylor

    Hi Kristen

    I am surprised not to see HG Tudor’s books on the list. His book ‘Exorcism’ helped me tremendously in moving on from the ‘Ever-presence’ of the narcissist. I’m not fully there but the instructions in that book were tantamount to me feeling better,

    best Wishes
    Michael 🙂

    1. Hi Michael: I agree with you about Tudor. His work was very instrumental to my healing as well. I have recently been working on updating this page and it’s still not quite complete. I will take your suggestion into account on which Tudor book to add. Thank you for your comment. Stay strong! -Kristen

      1. Michael Alan Taylor

        Thank you for the reply Kristen 🙂

  2. I am not able to see the list of Classic books…. the page is blank with a few grid lines

    1. Hi Cara: You may have to wait a second or two for it to load the links between the gridlines. If it gets hung up, refreshing should work. Hopefully, you won’t have to do it more than once… There are a lot of links on this page, but they are there. I’m sorry for the inconvenience. I don’t know why that’s happening but I’ll look into it as soon as I can so it doesn’t happen at all. Thanks for leaving a comment! -Kristen

  3. Dear Kristen! I do not speak English well. I am a hungarian woman. I’m empathetic. I feel very bad. I feel like I’m dying in pain. My father mat died. He was an emotionless psychopath. My mother is a real manipulator, an emotional abuser. Shee has a narcissistic personality disorder. Shee used it, he took everything, all my money, my car, my house. I’ve been holding it since she was 45, for over twenty years. I have been supporting she and my brother since I was 23 years old. I live in a house with them. I have nothing, I gave them everything. My brother is also a psychopath without empathy. I’m 45 years old. So far, I’ve loved two men. He was the first psychopath. exploited, took my money, physically abused, and mentally and emotionally as well. 3 weeks into the baby lombik program and he left before the wedding. He lived with us, gave him love, a home, paid off his previously taken bank loans, and made him two university degrees. Beaten, abandoned. He lied to the new woman, I beat him, I voluntarily took his loans, I bought him for myself. Lie started a campaign against me. The second man had a narcissistic personality disorder. Manipulated, emotionally abused. Manipulated, emotionally abused. He took my sexuality away from me. I had sex once in 4 months. He stopped sex. I think he was impotent. He took advantage and then threw it away. He lied to his mother about me, he started a lie campaign. I am a very kind, helpful empathetic who is very eager for love. It was not I who diagnosed them, but psychologists, psychiatrists. My life has collapsed. I feel like I can’t live anymore. It hurts terribly. How can there be so many toxic people in my life? I’m trapped.

    1. Hi Brigitta, I am so sorry to hear of all you’ve been through. None of this is your fault. I hope you are able to find some peace and emotional safety, and build your strength to the capacity to where you can choose how or even if you allow your family members into your life. Stay strong. -Kristen

    2. Thy name is my healing, O my God, and remembrance of Thee is my remedy. Nearness to Thee is my hope, and love for Thee is my companion. Thy mercy to me is my healing and my succor in both this world and the world to come. Thou, verily, art the All-Bountiful, the All-Knowing, the All-Wise.

  4. I was married to a sociopath with disturbing secret lives. He was non confrontational gentle spirited, outgoing , never jealous, withheld sex, and generous. Of course charming and charismatic. He abused my small son, used and abused alcohol/Rx drugs he prescribed himself, had mistresses, and had gambling My bookshelf gradually was filled by most of these books during our separation and divorce. 11 years later, I felt extremely knowledgeable about sociopaths. During the 11 years I dated a man who I believed was opposite of my ex, he was not outgoing, jealous, confronted problems, never drank or used drugs, intensely sexual, and no showy in fact very frugal to point of being cheap. I married him. It lasted 4 months bc when we lived together after the marriage the first time he was verbally abusive, needed praise all the time, withheld money, expected sex constantly. I was on eggshells and eventually flu like all day. Unlike first marriage the terrorizing life was not secret, it was in the open everyday. We went to a therapist..once…he called next day and told me he was a narcissist. How exactly could I be so informed and repeat the mistake a decade later? I purchased the books you recommended including the new ones not published for my first rodeo with psychopathy. One percent of the population and I chose two? I was warned in the books that we repeat. I took the time to heal and was very well versed. My much older brother started this cycle. I will confirm that these books are all brilliant. I found fairy tale shadows right after my new husband was diagnosed. I was thinking he was borderline PD. Your website articles are the BEST on Internet. I have read them all! This comprehensive list of books is priceless. I read nearly every one. Women who love sociopaths is a ground breaking book. The others equally as insightful and helpful in their own ways. No wonder you are an expert. As for me, no more relationships. Sometimes even someone who couldn’t learn anything else about these disorders is a magnet to the type. My children and myself are my life for now on.

  5. HI Kristen, I appreciate your website and resources. In reviewing your list in this website, I started thinking about what has finally helped me after being in narc relationships since birth (65 years). I also was trained and worked as a master’s level counselor, and also did a lot of personal healing in the 80’s as well in codependency. It wasn’t until I became a born again Christian in 2013 that my eyes and brain could conceive of what I had and have endured. Therefore, I think one would be remiss in not including books that talk about NPD as a manifestation of the Jezebel spirit (see book of Kings in Bible) in male AND female narcs, and the Ahab spirit in the spouse/targeted counterpart. Jezebel is a spirit of witchcraft and rebellion, Ahab is a grand enabler. This spirit cannot be prayed out of the host, but rather, deliverance is required. One resource I will mention is Robert Summers, a Christian counselor who has written extensively on this topic, and also provides deliverance from these ancient, harming spirits. summersministries.com God bless you.

  6. As a person inflicted with Borderline Personality disorder it concerns me that you have lumped it in with your books about narcissism and just mention it as “another cluster B personality” as if to say this is another one you need to watch out for. That could not be further from the truth. Borderline are extremely empathetic and overly loving and loyal and feel VERY deeply. The complete opposite of Narcissists. They fret and obsess at the very thought of having hurt someone or making them angry, terrified of being left by the ones they love too deeply and for which they would do anything. There are many downfalls that come with this disease, the anxiety and the fear of upsetting anyone, the social anxiety, the extreme low self-esteem and the emotional disregulation. We take happy to extreme highs and anger or sadness to an extreme low and it can change on a dime. Although Borderline is has finally started to be studied and recognized and specialized in by therapists and counselors within the last 8 yrs or so, there is still a stigmatism of it and it is not fully understood, especially when “lumped in” to a category with narcissism. I know mental health disorders do have connections and narcissists have some of the traits of Borderline like fear of abandonment and low self-esteem, but being a Borderline who is struggling with the no contact phase after having been with a Narcissist for 13 years, I can tell you that’s where our similarities end. In fact, it is one of the reasons of my intense feelings and empathy that kept me with him for so long. I knew what the fear of abandonment was like and feeling like no one will ever love you for who you really are and I wanted to show him I would stick by his side no matter what because he was worthy of love. And yes, I was too stupid to realize that when I was diagnosed with Borderline, his feverish research into it was not to try to help me or “fix me” as he used to like to say…it was so he had more “ammo” on how to manipulate and torture my mind.

    Thank you for all you do, Kristen. I just felt the need to clarify that book. I have not read it, but the description just seemed to be needed to clarify a little more, then another Cluster B.

    1. Kristen Milstead

      Hi Nicole: Thank you for sharing your story and your thoughts on Borderline Personality Disorder. Your insights on the subject are very valuable and your points well-taken. Although it may have seemed as if I was denigrating those with BPD, I personally wasn’t intending to lump the effects on partners that individuals with borderline, schizoid and narcissist personality disorders may have. The book was written by a professional who specializes in each of the three and the book has separate sections on each. Given that she treats individuals with the disorders and provides a balanced view, I felt it may offer a neutral clinical perspective that was easy to read about why narcissists do what they do, and had the bonus addition of providing information on other disorders as well for comparison purposes. This inclusion of different disorders helped me to put NPD in the context of personality disorders as a whole from the perspective of someone who treats patients with personality disorders, and I thought it might be helpful to others as well. I’m aware that BPD has a scientifically-backed treatment and that people with the disorder are more likely to seek treatment and to recover from it, so I do not lump the two together in my mind. You may notice that I do not try to discuss other personality disorders on my website, as I do think there are very important distinctions. It is intentional. I thank you for leaving this comment and I apologize for the insensitivity of my original statement about Cluster B Personality Disorders. -Kristen

  7. Kristen, I am from India where we live relationships at a more irrational levels and live with whatever is without questioning it ever. But I was in this extremely confusing draining emotionally and Financially relationship with this man for ever 4 years in which he left me several times and came back several times and I allowed him to the same things to me over and over and over again. The last nail to the coffin came when in the last one week his family has been sending me threats of making me go through treatment by goons if I don’t leave him alone to go back to his wife. I was so angry that I even complained to his company HR that one he doesn’t leave me and chase me down and then his parents call me like this. At times I feel he only wanted to discard me once more and used his parents for the same. I am in a very shaky state but I have been reading your posts since 15 days and they have helped me immensely. Please pray that I leave all this behind this time atleast as I have gone through enough. Keep me in your prayers. Is there any mail ID I can write to you on? You

    1. Kristen Milstead

      Hi Ekta: I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through. It can be so devastating to deal with what they put us through! I’m glad my articles have been helpful. You are welcome to send E-mail to me at [email protected]. Please try to stay strong. -Kristen

  8. Kristen, I send my gratitude and thanks to you, which are immeasurable. You are an amazing person and an extraordinary writer yourself and your toolkit, “Taking Your Life Back After Narcissistic Abuse,” has opened me up to action more than anything else in recent days. I found it the same time as personal matters were escalating and my forward movement is occurring quickly. These books will also help buffer me through the emotional times. Kind regards!

    1. Hi Vicki: You are so welcome. Thank you so much for your kind words! Stay strong and take care of yourself. -Kristen

  9. Thank you so much for posting this! Resources are always helpful to those going through this life!

    1. You are so welcome! 🙂

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