Looking back, my process for going no-contact with my ex-boyfriend actually started over two years before it came to a complete end. I didn’t understand what was happening to me at the time, nor would I have been able to explain it to anyone else. There were times when I wanted desperately to leave, but I couldn’t envision any possible future without him, and there were times when I wanted nothing more than to stay and forced myself forget the things that had made me want to leave. There were times when I also wanted him to leave, and times...

Part of the reason why narcissistic abuse in relationships is so difficult to explain is that there is no simple way to describe either the way the abusers harm us or the effect it has on us. The abusive dynamic with a narcissist is actually formed through a series of mostly small interactions over a long period of time.   Those interactions affect us in many ways and the reasons why we stay bound to our narcissistic partners even when we want to leave become complicated. Here are six important concepts that explain narcissistic abuse in relationships. What Keeps Us Tied...

This resource contains a playlist of recovery songs to empower and validate you as you heal from any type of abuse, but particularly from the manipulation of narcissistic abuse.  This is a list created by survivors for survivors — I’ve added many songs over the years as readers have written to me and asked me to add them.  They go all the way back to the 1970s and cover all decades in between up to the music of today.  The genres span pop, country, hip-hop, electronic, and hard rock.  Below each song title, I’ve added a few of the lyrics....

By presenting to us what feels like two completely different people, we can become snared in the narcissist’s battle for control over our perception of reality. This is where cognitive dissonance begins. It is nothing less than mind control and it must be broken. What is Cognitive Dissonance? The idea behind cognitive dissonance is that people will feel so much anxiety when they do something that’s inconsistent with what they personally believe–or when they are confronted with new information–that they will somehow find a way to make everything consistent again psychologically. Leon Festinger was the psychologist who originally developed this idea....

We are living in unprecedented times and resources for abuse survivors are more important than ever.  Social distancing and stay-at-home orders are putting those of us who have experienced or are currently experiencing abuse at home at increased risk of further violence, danger, isolation, and mental health symptoms.   Below you’ll find the following types of resources:  Domestic Abuse Resources and Organizations Other Crisis Websites and Hotlines Books on Narcissism – Find out how you can read or listen for free below! Free or Reduced-Fee Tele-Therapy or Online Support Groups General Online Mental Health Tools, Information & Resources Online Meditation &...

There is no shortage of resources available online for narcissistic abuse survivors.  Our stories are the most powerful contributions to the resources available, as they validate that we are not alone. Beyond the personal stories and blogs, however, there are thousands of other resources across the Internet about narcissists and narcissistic abuse.  It can feel rare when something unique comes along that brings a new idea or perspective to the table. From my perspective, the more new ideas and perspectives we are exposed to, the more that may help us leave our relationships and heal from them when the outside...

I’ve come to believe that the love bombing stage that takes place early in a relationship with a narcissist is the most sinister and dangerous period in the entire relationship. It’s discussed frequently, but usually only in conjunction with the other narcissistic abuse stages in the abuse cycle: idealization-devaluation-discard or sometimes (idealization-devaluation-discard-hoover). It’s often not discussed on its own, because the other stages feel so much more intensely negative that it’s easy to ignore why love bombing is so bad. What is Love Bombing? The narcissistic abuse dictionary defines love bombing as: “A period of intense positive attention from the...