Maybe the narcissist promised to take you on the trip of a lifetime. Or maybe it was your trip originally and the narcissist invited themselves, spinning a tale about how wonderful it would be for the two of you to spend some time together. Yet what gets sold as a dream can end up turning into a nightmare. Why narcissists ruin vacations, however, isn’t as much of a mystery as it may seem.  Vacations aren’t an exception. Narcissists also have a tendency to ruin other special days, such as anniversaries and birthdays, Valentine’s Day and other holidays. [Read “How Narcissists Ruin...

Many survivors have had the unfortunate experience of being in multiple relationships with narcissists. Even one short relationship with a toxic partner can really wound your heart and make you apprehensive about love.   However, thanks to wonderful things like neuroplasticity, therapy, mindfulness, prayer, family, and friends, both the heart and mind can heal. It is a process and healing looks different for everyone so be gentle and kind to yourself on this journey.   For once, I decided to take my own advice and take a year off from dating and I want to share with you all that...

We can’t leave a narcissist and go no contact until we go through five stages. These stages embody the necessary psychological steps that will give us back our lives. Narcissists lure. They lure with promises, flattery, lies and sweet words. [Read Narcissist Love Bombing is Like Poison] The mask shifts with each new person in their sights, adjusting to our likes and dislikes, filling in crevices to become whatever seems to be missing and fulfilling our long-lost dreams. What remains the same, however, is that the true nature of the narcissist remains hidden behind the mask. With that mask, employed skillfully...

Narcissist word salad is a verbal stealth attack. Word salad is a circular language tactic use by one person that ensures conversations never have a satisfactory resolution for the other.  It’s a way to maintain control over the other person’s beliefs or ideas, emotional response, or access to information. The methods used could include blameshifting, projection, gaslighting, stonewalling, sympathy ploys or playing the victim, equivocating, changing the subject and partner on the defensive, and others. [See The Ultimate Narcissistic Abuse Dictionary to review unfamiliar terms] The purpose of word salad is to use our words against us.  Through these circular...

I thought I had things under control. I saw the red flags of narcissism, but I didn’t interpret them as red or as flags. I was so innocent. There was the incident where he told me to stop going out with other guys before we’d even met in person. I’d mostly found it amusing. Surely, he couldn’t have been serious. It was like a joke. Like, why should he even care if a woman he barely knows and hasn’t even met yet is having a date? No one is jealous like that in real life. Right? [Read: Why Cognitive Dissonance...

I’m writing this article about a disturbing new scam that involves books on narcissistic abuse recovery. You may have noticed a flood of books on Amazon over the last 12-18 months about narcissistic abuse, trauma, and related topics.  A large number of these books are not what they appear to be.  The content is stolen or only loosely related to narcissistic abuse, or the title is misleading or intended to trick you into buying the book.  Here is how to avoid being scammed. Types of Fraudulent Books on Narcissistic Abuse Recovery First of all, if you’re looking for a high-quality...

If you were raised in a household where narcissistic practices were a constant, it’s natural for you to ask yourself, “Am I a narcissistic parent?” You may wonder how much of your parent’s behaviors and attitudes you inherited. The very fact that you are questioning your actions toward your kid is proof you are not automatically a self-absorbed parent yourself. Narcissistic parents usually do not doubt their way of doing things, as they consider it to be the only right way to do them. If you recognize some of your parents’ attitudes and behaviors in yourself, you may experience guilt...