Category: Effects of Narcissistic Abuse

0If you’re with a narcissist, you may be dreading the holidays. You may already be familiar with some of the ways they try to ruin any festive or fun plans you’ve tried to make.  [Read: How Narcissists Ruin Holidays: It’s Not Your Imagination] Here are some ways to survive the narcissist during the holiday season and make it through to the next year with your sanity intact. Even if you’re in no-contact, it’s important to keep in mind that holidays are a prime season for trying to pull ex-partners back into the web. Therefore, I’ve included a special section on how...

Narcissists ruin holidays and make what should be a joyful time of year into a time of tears and anxiety–and sometimes even fear.  The holidays can be a painful time of year for people who are in relationships with narcissists. It can feel as if no matter how your relationship has been going with them before the holidays even start, they can find a way to use this time of year to cause additional pain. By taking advantage of the cultural norms and expectations surrounding holidays or the disruption to normal routines, they can find creative ways to hurt and...

Maybe the narcissist promised to take you on the trip of a lifetime. Or maybe it was your trip originally and the narcissist invited themselves, spinning a tale about how wonderful it would be for the two of you to spend some time together. Yet what gets sold as a dream can end up turning into a nightmare. Why narcissists ruin vacations, however, isn’t as much of a mystery as it may seem.  Vacations aren’t an exception. Narcissists also have a tendency to ruin other special days, such as anniversaries and birthdays, Valentine’s Day and other holidays. [Read “How Narcissists Ruin...

Narcissist word salad is a verbal stealth attack. Word salad is a circular language tactic use by one person that ensures conversations never have a satisfactory resolution for the other.  It’s a way to maintain control over the other person’s beliefs or ideas, emotional response, or access to information. The methods used could include blameshifting, projection, gaslighting, stonewalling, sympathy ploys or playing the victim, equivocating, changing the subject and partner on the defensive, and others. [See The Ultimate Narcissistic Abuse Dictionary to review unfamiliar terms] The purpose of word salad is to use our words against us.  Through these circular...

Some of the things narcissists say can raise eyebrows. Those things might come in grand verbal speeches or spoken in bite-sized comments mumbled under the breath. Either way, when heard, something seems out of place, but you might not always know why.  Often what they say has another meaning because they have ulterior motives or they’re attempting to manipulate behind the scenes.  Things Narcissists Say That Give Them Away Narcissistic people can sometimes give themselves away over time when you keep communicating with them.  It’s not just that they talk about themselves a lot, as the stereotype would suggest.  It’s...

Narcissists don’t break up with you. They give indefinite silent treatments because it gives them control. Sometimes they put us in a deep freeze, but what are the signs of narcissist hoovering?  What is hoovering?  Hoovering is a slang term for the return of the narcissist into your life to try to bring your relationship back from the dead. [See The Ultimate Narcissistic Abuse Dictionary to review unfamiliar terms] Who ended it?  You or the narcissist? It doesn’t matter.  A narcissist may try to hoover, regardless of which one of you cut off contact. It doesn’t matter how nasty the...

Narcissists and Valentine’s Day can be a recipe for something bad to happen. Valentine’s Day is often a sensitive and dreaded day for many people, regardless of relationship status. Yet narcissists are notorious for ruining big days such as birthdays, anniversaries, and other holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas. [Read How Narcissists Ruin Holidays] Valentine’s Day, however, is extra-special.  Everything about Valentine’s Day is tailor-made for them to wield it as a weapon to inflict maximum pain.  Valentine’s Day can be triggering for those coming out of abusive relationships with narcissists. It’s a day specifically dedicated to the very emotions the...