Narcissist word salad is a verbal stealth attack. Word salad is a circular language tactic use by one person that ensures conversations never have a satisfactory resolution for the other.  It’s a way to maintain control over the other person’s beliefs or ideas, emotional response, or access to information. The methods used could include blameshifting, projection, gaslighting, stonewalling, sympathy ploys or playing the victim, equivocating, changing the subject and partner on the defensive, and others. [See The Ultimate Narcissistic Abuse Dictionary to review unfamiliar terms] The purpose of word salad is to use our words against us.  Through these circular...

I thought I had things under control. I saw the red flags of narcissism, but I didn’t interpret them as red or as flags. I was so innocent. There was the incident where he told me to stop going out with other guys before we’d even met in person. I’d mostly found it amusing. Surely, he couldn’t have been serious. It was like a joke. Like, why should he even care if a woman he barely knows and hasn’t even met yet is having a date? No one is jealous like that in real life. Right? [Read: Why Cognitive Dissonance...

I’m writing this article about a disturbing new scam that involves books on narcissistic abuse recovery. You may have noticed a flood of books on Amazon over the last 12-18 months about narcissistic abuse, trauma, and related topics.  A large number of these books are not what they appear to be.  The content is stolen or only loosely related to narcissistic abuse, or the title is misleading or intended to trick you into buying the book.  Here is how to avoid being scammed. Types of Fraudulent Books on Narcissistic Abuse Recovery First of all, if you’re looking for a high-quality...

If you were raised in a household where narcissistic practices were a constant, it’s natural for you to ask yourself, “Am I a narcissistic parent?” You may wonder how much of your parent’s behaviors and attitudes you inherited. The very fact that you are questioning your actions toward your kid is proof you are not automatically a self-absorbed parent yourself. Narcissistic parents usually do not doubt their way of doing things, as they consider it to be the only right way to do them. If you recognize some of your parents’ attitudes and behaviors in yourself, you may experience guilt...

Some of the things narcissists say can raise eyebrows. Those things might come in grand verbal speeches or spoken in bite-sized comments mumbled under the breath. Either way, when heard, something seems out of place, but you might not always know why.  Often what they say has another meaning because they have ulterior motives or they’re attempting to manipulate behind the scenes.  Things Narcissists Say That Give Them Away Narcissistic people can sometimes give themselves away over time when you keep communicating with them.  It’s not just that they talk about themselves a lot, as the stereotype would suggest.  It’s...

Divorcing a narcissist is a major step for a survivor of narcissistic abuse. Putting an end to the relationship just by filing for the divorce will have a huge impact on the narcissist’s self-esteem and it may lead him or her to engage in Machiavellian moves in an attempt to control you. They are likely to display aggressive attitudes and behaviors and will have difficulties letting go of the relationship. If there are kids involved in the divorce, the narcissist may try to keep them as a source of validation and affection.  The Mind of a Narcissist During Divorce As...

Narcissists don’t break up with you. They give indefinite silent treatments because it gives them control. Sometimes they put us in a deep freeze, but what are the signs of narcissist hoovering?  What is hoovering?  Hoovering is a slang term for the return of the narcissist into your life to try to bring your relationship back from the dead. [See The Ultimate Narcissistic Abuse Dictionary to review unfamiliar terms] Who ended it?  You or the narcissist? It doesn’t matter.  A narcissist may try to hoover, regardless of which one of you cut off contact. It doesn’t matter how nasty the...