Recovering from an abusive relationship brings on a roller coaster of emotions. For me, it has brought on a lot of guilt and anxiety about how it has impacted my other relationships. It’s one thing to write about it so openly, knowing others who have been through the same thing will read it and relate to it. It’s another thing to talk about it with people I’m close to who haven’t experienced it, unsure of how they will react. I’ve often found myself at a loss for how to explain or even share what I’ve been through in those situations.  Yet...

I know how much you want to get revenge. But what’s the worst thing you can do to a narcissist? Believe me, I know. You’re wondering. You’re probably not even a vengeful person! If you were, you probably wouldn’t be here because a narcissist would have found you an undesirable partner. So where has all of this come from? What do you do with all of these feelings? There’s some sort of indignity in everything you’re going through right now. So many emotions, so much loss. It’s not just that they lie. It’s not just that they cheat. It’s not...

There is an explosion in pop culture TV right now depicting how abusers are grooming their victims for abuse and I have mixed feelings about it. Consider the following recent examples: Surviving R. Kelly, a multi-part documentary, details the long history of singer R.Kelly’s physical, sexual, and emotional abuse and exploitation of girls and women. He had even established such a high level of psychological control over a handful of them, he isolated them in his homes and had total domination over their lives.  Abducted in Plain Sight, another documentary, is about a man who spent two and a half years ingratiating himself with an...

This city is haunted for me now. Something is crushing me– and it’s the past that never existed. It’s the way he invaded me As I spoke my history, dreams, and plans While he whispered lies With both lips and eyes. My memory is an abyss. My heart is too big for my chest– it threatens detonation. I’m going to stop pretending soon when my future no longer shimmers like broken glass. I’m going to shatter into pieces soon when my mind can stop flitting down a phantom path. Even in sleep, the pain pounds relentlessly. I don’t know what...

When I see you in your ‘good’ I can’t help but want you I imagine my skin next to yours our bodies caressing and writhing. A look you give That I just can’t resist But I must break this cycle Of craziness between us. The hurt I feel from your betrayal And the sacrifices I made For nought but heartache Leave me filled with so much anger. And yet I want you, need you Deep inside me Moving as only we two know how a carnal need ignited in our eyes. An unspoken link that transverses Understanding by others A...

You loved me like no other one And I saved you from your past I never understood it wouldn’t last

Relationships with narcissists are not like normal relationships in so many different ways that it’s difficult to keep track. It’s no wonder that we’re left wondering why it’s so hard to get over narcissists once the relationships end. Putting the reasons into words, however, can help us to understand why it takes so long to get over the relationship so we can give ourselves more self-compassion as we work on moving on after narcissistic abuse.     Twelve Reasons It’s So Hard to Get Over a Narcissist 1. The Relationships Are More Intense. Our lives were often lived on the edge....