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How Society Re-Traumatizes Victims After Abuse

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Recovering from an abusive relationship brings on a roller coaster of emotions. For me, it has brought on a lot of guilt and anxiety about how it has impacted my other relationships. It’s one thing to write about it so openly, knowing others who have been through the same thing will read it and relate to it. It’s another thing to talk about it with people I’m close to who haven’t experienced it, unsure of how they will react. I’ve often found myself at a loss for how to explain or even share what I’ve been through in those situations. 

Yet I’ve also learned a lot about some of the other people in my life. I’ve been disappointed and hurt during this process by people I thought I could trust. The range of harmful ways that some people in my life have responded include making careless or thoughtless statements about the abuse to completely turning their backs on me to further exploiting me when I was at my weakest before I even realized what was going on.

I’ve decided that for a lot of reasons some of what happened is probably unavoidable. Until there is a larger understanding in society of why people end up in abusive relationships and more support for them to exit those relationships when they feel ready, others will say and do things that can’t help but further hurt survivors of abuse unnecessarily when they need help the most.

Here is a list of things that, if we try to force ourselves to adhere to as survivors, I believe could impede our recovery. 


Read more on my HealthyPlace bi-weekly blog here:

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Kristen Milstead

Kristen Milstead is a narcissistic abuse survivor who has become a strong advocate for finding your unique voice and using it to help others find theirs.

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