Living Through and Recovering From a Relationship with a Narcissist

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Shattered by Lisa Anne

This city is haunted for me now.

Something is crushing me–

and it’s the past that never existed.

It’s the way he invaded me

As I spoke my history, dreams, and plans

While he whispered lies

With both lips and eyes.

My memory is an abyss.

My heart is too big for my chest–

it threatens detonation.

I’m going to stop pretending soon

when my future no longer shimmers like

broken glass.

I’m going to shatter into pieces soon

when my mind can stop flitting down

a phantom path.

Even in sleep, the pain pounds relentlessly.

I don’t know what comes next.

Nothing follows nothing.

This world is haunted for me now.

 

 

Lisa Anne’s bio:

I’ve since gotten out of the relationship but I wrote this right after I saw his mask slip. That’s not what I would have called it at the time because I didn’t know all the language, but I will never forget what that feels like when you realize your entire world is a lie.

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One Comment

  1. That moment when you realize your entire life is a lie. It’s funny, I remember thinking that many times during the relationship, but stayed. Since our separation last December, there have been times where that realization has hit with no less force than if it had been actually physical. The physical pain is waning now, but I’m not sure the sense of betrayal and disbelief that someone could treat someone in such a way will ever fade.

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