This city is haunted for me now.
Something is crushing me–
and it’s the past that never existed.
It’s the way he invaded me
As I spoke my history, dreams, and plans
While he whispered lies
With both lips and eyes.
My memory is an abyss.
My heart is too big for my chest–
it threatens detonation.
I’m going to stop pretending soon
when my future no longer shimmers like
I’m going to shatter into pieces soon
when my mind can stop flitting down
a phantom path.
Even in sleep, the pain pounds relentlessly.
I don’t know what comes next.
Nothing follows nothing.
This world is haunted for me now.
Lisa Anne’s bio:
I’ve since gotten out of the relationship but I wrote this right after I saw his mask slip. That’s not what I would have called it at the time because I didn’t know all the language, but I will never forget what that feels like when you realize your entire world is a lie.