Notes From Kristen




Hello.  My name is Kristen Milstead.

I started this blog on a whim at the end of 2017 because I didn’t have anyone to talk to about the things I had just experienced in the relationship I had just left.

For almost four years, I was in a relationship with someone whose behavior fits the pattern of that of a malignant narcissist. During this time, I thought I was going crazy. I experienced the most intense love and the worst betrayal and psychological pain I have ever felt. There was a time I thought he was going to kill me. There were also other forms of abuse present in the relationship as well. My identity and psyche became nearly unidentifiable even to myself. After doing hundreds of hours of research since the relationship ended, I can conclude now that I had undergone a form of brainwashing that is pretty standard in these types of relationships and had developed a trauma bond.

The blog was a way for me to try to start taking my own life back and healing from what had happened to me in the relationship.  It changed my life and has been integral to my recovery.  The writing was often very raw and intense for me. Always, I wrote from my heart about both how what I read intellectually to try to understand what happened applied to my own experiences and how I was processing the relationship at particular points in time.

Today, although time has passed and I am much better, I keep writing and creating to help empower others to get where I am and to promote awareness of this type of abuse. Narcissistic abuse is not well-known or well-understood in mainstream society and I am hopeful that there are ways to bridge the gap in understanding.

If you are new to my blog, I would encourage you to start with these four articles, which will lead you to more resources on the website:

If you like what you see so far, I invite you to sign up to follow this blog.  You can do so by adding your E-mail address in the box below.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my website.


Kristen Milstead has a Ph.D. in Sociology, and her primary areas of expertise are criminology, gender, and sexual assault. She lives in Washington, D.C. and sings in a competitive karaoke league in her free time (whatever that is).

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