Hi. My name is Kristen Milstead and I am a narcissistic abuse survivor.
I never saw it coming.
Before I ever got into the relationship that put me in this situation, I had a Ph.D. in Sociology and had spent my academic career studying theories for why people engage in criminal and deviant behavior, unequal gender dynamics, and sexual assault. How had I ended up here?
After the relationship ended, I knew something profound had just happened to me. I couldn’t even explain it, nor could I understand why my own identity and behavior had changed in ways I didn’t understand. I started this blog as a way to process what happened using both my personal experience and educational background.
Over time, the blog has grown into so much more. I am passionate about empowering other survivors to leave their abusive relationships and about promoting awareness of this hidden form of abuse. Read more about the mission of the website here.
If you’re a survivor, I encourage you to pick up the toolkit I developed, “Taking Your Life Back After a Relationship with a Narcissist,” which is available on the website for free. It’s packed full of thought exercises that I actually used myself when I was trying to get through the end of my relationship.
Also, be sure to check out all the other resources too, such as the Narcissistic Abuse Dictionary, the playlist for narcissistic abuse recovery, the list of helpful books and free resources from around the Internet.
Narcissistic abuse has features and a pattern that can be observed in other familiar events. I believe making that connection can help promote awareness that this type of abuse exists and show how devastating it is for victims, and may help survivors to receive more support.
As I’ve healed from the relationship and moved into a more empowered stage of recovery, I’ve continued to write about narcissistic abuse as I personally experienced it, but also to tie it to larger sociological and social psychological concepts based on my research background. I want to drive home why this is not just an individual problem–it’s a societal problem.
My research on crime and deviance has been published in the journals Deviant Behavior and Critical Criminology. You can find my articles on narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and abusive behavior in the following online publications:
In addition, my articles on narcissism and abuse have been mentioned or featured in these publications or resources:
- Podcast: Eddie Francis, For Our Edification: “All the Smoke: Fyre Fest and Narcissistic Leadership”
- Podcast: Tony Overbay, The Virtual Couch: “8 Types of Narcissism“
- Podcast: Chad the Impaler, How to Survive the Narcissist Apocalypse: “Letters to My Narcissist Vol. 1“
- Website: Dr. April Brown, Counseling Services
- Website: Narcissistic Abuse Support
- Website: Narcissistic Abuse Awareness
- Website: Not in Our Church
- Website: Simrit Singh, Narcissistic Abuse Counseling
- Book: Francesca Sacca, La Magia Della Rinascita (The Magic of Rebirth)
When I’m not working, writing or researching, or talking to my amazing readers, I’m usually watching something like a documentary or crime series with my roommate or trying to learn a new language (currently working on Spanish, Hindi, and Arabic). I live in Washington, D.C. and I have a son, who is my inspiration behind why I have never given up.
Thank you for visiting my website. Stay strong!