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My name is Kristen Milstead and I am a narcissistic abuse survivor.

I never saw it coming.

Before I ever got into the relationship that put me in this situation, I had a Ph.D. in Sociology and had spent my academic career studying theories for why people engage in criminal and deviant behavior, unequal gender dynamics, and sexual assault. How had I ended up here?

After the relationship ended, I knew something profound had just happened to me. I couldn’t even explain it, nor could I understand why my own identity and behavior had changed in ways I didn’t understand. I started this blog as a way to process what happened using both my personal experience and educational background.

Over time, the blog has grown into so much more. I am passionate about empowering other survivors to leave their abusive relationships and about promoting awareness of this hidden form of abuse.  Read more about the mission of the website here.

Narcissistic abuse has features and a pattern that can be observed in other familiar events.  I believe making that connection can help promote awareness that this type of abuse exists and show how devastating it is for victims, and may help survivors to receive more support.

As I’ve healed from the relationship and moved into a more empowered stage of recovery, I’ve continued to write about narcissistic abuse as I personally experienced it, but also to tie it to larger sociological and social psychological concepts based on my research background. I want to drive home why this is not just an individual problem–it’s a societal problem.

My book, Why Can’t I Just Leave? A Guide to Waking Up and Walking Out of a Pathological Love Relationship was released in October 2021 and a free preview including the first chapter is available by clicking hereYou can find my articles on narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and abusive behavior in the following online publications:

My articles can also be found in these online publications.

In addition, here are a few of the publications and resources in which my articles on narcissism and abuse have been mentioned or featured:

You can read more about me on my author website.

Stay strong and remember you are not alone!