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When you're trying to leave an abuser they tell you to make an exit plan. They don't tell you what to do if the abuser comes back.
Last updated: May 03, 2019 | Originally Published: May 02, 2019 by Kristen Milstead 1 Home » Breaking Up With a Narcissist » Leaving a Narcissist Sometimes Means Forcing The Narcissist to Leave You

Leaving a Narcissist Sometimes Means Forcing The Narcissist to Leave You

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If you’re swimming in the ocean and happen to get attacked by a shark, you’re lucky if you happen to escape. If the shark turns back around to bite into you again before you’re able to swim to shore, no one asks why you didn’t swim away fast enough or why you let the shark attack a second time.

I left my abuser dozens of times before it was finally over.

Long before then, there had been two of me: the one that prayed for it to end and the one that prayed it never would–the one that wished desperately for him to put an end to all of the madness once and for all, to put a foundation beneath us and surround me with truth.

It was only afterward that I realized he was surrounding me with the truth all along. It’s easy to blame myself for not seeing it. Yet he did everything he could to blind me from it by infusing false slivers of hope into our time spent together that he intertwined with those desperate wishes he’d been the one to put there in the first place, way back in the beginning. Before things turned bad.

I left my abuser dozens of times before it was finally over, but he just wouldn’t go away.

Thinking of Abusers as Predators

Everyone tells you to develop an exit strategy (or if they’re ignorant about abusive relationships, they just ask why you don’t walk away). What they don’t tell you is what to do when the abuser comes back.

Read more on my HealthyPlace blog here:

https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/verbalabuseinrelationships/2019/5/leaving-your-abuser-sometimes-means-forcing-them-to-leave-you

Please note that this content belongs to HealthyPlace so the full article is published there exclusively. Thank you for taking the time to read it. I look forward to your comments!

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Kristen Milstead

Kristen Milstead is a narcissistic abuse survivor who has become a strong advocate for finding your unique voice and using it to help others find theirs.

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One Comment

  1. Robin

    This information is great. It helped me understand my ex husband. I suffered 5 years of narcissistic abuse and I finally got out. I am now suffering with the mental emotional and psychological pain. I am trying to heal now with no contact and raising our daughter on my own. This information is very helpful to help me heal

    Reply

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