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Why We Read about Narcissism Instead of How to Heal from Narcissistic Abuse–But It’s Okay

I recently saw a quote in which someone was lamenting the fact that there were more articles describing narcissism and narcissistic abuse than how to heal core wounds as a result of the abuse.

I thought it was a strange distinction to make. When survivors of narcissistic abuse read articles about narcissism and narcissistic abuse, that is a form of healing. 

In addition, although the quote acknowledged that there are differences in the types of information that is needed to heal, it appeared to elevate healing core wounds over learning about the narcissistic relationship without acknowledging that they are two different but equally important types of healing. They occur at two very different stages in a relationship or post-relationship with a narcissist and they require different methods of assistance for peak effectiveness. 

What is Narcissistic Abuse?

Narcissistic abuse is a unique form of psychological abuse that is characterized by manipulation and deception and, often, includes coercive control. Abusers subject their partners to a four-stage abuse cycle in which they first idealize and love-bomb them before devaluing them and subjecting them to multiple forms of emotional abuse. Finally, the abuser discards the partner once he or she sees no more value in the partner, but then often returns to “hoover” the partner back into the relationship. There may never be physical abuse, however, there is often excessive control and monitoring and the abuser may be juggling multiple relationships simultaneously.

Why are there so few articles about healing the self after narcissistic abuse? 

 

Read more on my HealthyPlace blog here:

https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/verbalabuseinrelationships/2019/5/why-youre-not-reading-about-how-to-heal-after-abuse-but-its-okay

 

Please note that this content belongs to HealthyPlace so the full article is published there exclusively. Thank you for taking the time to read it. I look forward to your comments!

 

Don’t forget to check out these resources:

 

Do you want to tell your story and have it published? Go here to learn more.

 

Kristen Milstead

Kristen Milstead is a narcissistic abuse survivor who has become a strong advocate for finding your unique voice and using it to help others find theirs.

3 Comments

  1. I am of the opinion that is because for most of us who have been in an abusive relationship with a narcissist that firstly; we have never experienced a narcissist previously in our lives so it takes much research to understand what exactly went on which is when we then realise that we were in a relationship with a narcissist and gain the knowledge in hindsight that we wished we had earlier and secondly we just cant quite believe it so read more trying initially to discount that the person we loved so dearly really didnt care at all but the more we read the more we are sure of that sad truth and so we then read more to be absolutely certain and once we are, the healing process begins… but this cannot happen until we have no doubts whatsoever that the healing we need is for damage by a narcissist!

    1. Kristen Milstead

      Good point, Tammy. I completely agree!

  2. I think for it is that, I don’t ever want to be party to that kind of abuse again.

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