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Setting New Boundaries after a Relationship with a Narcissist

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One of the most difficult things I’ve had to figure out recently is how to set boundaries again after my abusive relationship ended. 

It took me a long time to realize how my ex-boyfriend had dismantled the boundaries I did have. He was able to use to his advantage the confusing misconceptions I had adopted about boundaries.

What are Personal Boundaries?

Boundaries are our standards for what treatment we expect from others and the behavior that we will not tolerate because it violates our human rights.

For example, boundaries can include the rights to make independent decisions; to have our own thoughts, ideas, desires, and emotions and the freedom to express them; to choose with whom to spend time, how to spend it, and whether to say yes or no; to be treated with dignity and respect.

In a way, if you think about it, the concept behind what constitutes “boundaries” is inalienable. We are all born with an inherent personhood worthy of these things…


Read more on my HealthyPlace blog here:


Please note that this content belongs to HealthyPlace so the full article is published there exclusively. Thank you for taking the time to read it. I look forward to your comments!


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Kristen Milstead

Kristen Milstead is a narcissistic abuse survivor who has become a strong advocate for finding your unique voice and using it to help others find theirs.


  1. Nicole DuBois

    Kristen, I have been reading your blogs for over a year. I just saw on healthy place website you have a Ph.d in sociology? Is that something you acquired in the past year? You’ve never spoken of that before in your blogs?

    1. Kristen Milstead

      Hi Nicole: Thank you for being a reader and being supportive for all of this time. Nope, I have always had a Ph.D. even prior to meeting my abusive ex. If you review my About Me page you will find the bigger picture description of who I am there and how it informs the entire mission for me of this website. -Kristen

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