Category: Understanding Narcissistic Abuse

Act One “I made her believe that I understood needs and desires that she had kept hidden from most everyone else out of fear and shame, that I looked at everything about her and wasn’t scared of what I found. It’s true that I did… I can read every word of your soul, become deeply engrossed in the study of it until I’ve comprehended every word and detail… My desire to know every layer of you isn’t feigned, but interest isn’t love…”  -M.E. Thomas, Confessions of a Sociopath “I became the perfect partner, complimenting you, praising you and loving you in...

Relationships with narcissists keep us in a state of confusion and doubt–even after they end.  Understanding their behavior can help release us from this confusion and help us to move on. [Read: Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse Must Stop with the Questions] Top 8 Questions About Narcissists and Narcissistic Abuse 1. Do narcissists know they are narcissists? To answer this question, we have to consider what narcissism is. Narcissism is a spectrum, with healthy levels of narcissism on one end and pathological levels of it on the other (more on this below).  Pathological narcissism can warrant a diagnosis by a professional...

After being in a relationship with a narcissist, at least one thing becomes crystal clear: we never want to give another one the chance to do that kind of damage again. It’s important to learn and recognize the warning signs of narcissism so that we can keep ourselves safe. Sometimes, after leaving relationships with narcissists, our judgment may feel off and we end up at extremes. Either we can up right back in another one or we begin to see narcissists everywhere and withdraw into ourselves, afraid to interact with the world. It’s crucial, therefore, not to get distracted by...

I’ve previously written about the characteristics to which narcissists are attracted.  The partners tend to be easygoing and give others the benefit of the doubt. They also tend to be known as caretakers and have other strong positive qualities from which the narcissist can draw resources. Yet negative stereotypes persist about the survivors of narcissistically abusive relationships. Here are four big myths about survivors that I’d like to dispel, including one that’s controversial. Myth #1. The partners are more gullible than everyone else.  Partners of narcissists do not enter into relationships with them because they are unable to discern truth...

In this article, I write about psychopaths and narcissists interchangeably, as they both lack empathy and remorse. The conclusion of this article can be applied to both for this reason. In the 1970s, Ted Bundy brutally murdered somewhere between thirty and a hundred or more women. I have been pondering for a while now: what is it about Ted Bundy the psychopath that makes him different from psychopaths that do not kill? I have sought out the answer in the research I have read. FACT: Bundy had a girlfriend during the entire stretch of time he was murdering women, a...

Learning how to distinguish whether someone is a narcissist, sociopath or psychopath means understanding the subtle similarities and differences.  Imagine waking up in the morning and going into the kitchen before work. You pour yourself a mug of coffee, open a drawer and grab a spoon to stir in some sugar. After dropping the spoon into the sink, you head out to your car, kissing your wife or husband goodbye before you leave. Most of us regard objects differently than we do people. In fact, it seems almost ridiculous to have to point that out. We regard human life differently than...

When we get out of relationships with narcissists, we are sometimes hard on ourselves about how we could have let ourselves get involved in the relationships or why we stayed for so long. In addition, others outside the relationship who have never been involved with a narcissist may believe that there was something about us that attracted the narcissist. It turns out that they are right.  It may not be quite what they expect, however. Narcissists have a strong need for admiration and adoration. They also have fragile egos and when the people around them have differing opinions, they often view this...