Category: Narcissist Abuse Recovery

Many survivors have had the unfortunate experience of being in multiple relationships with narcissists. Even one short relationship with a toxic partner can really wound your heart and make you apprehensive about love.   However, thanks to wonderful things like neuroplasticity, therapy, mindfulness, prayer, family, and friends, both the heart and mind can heal. It is a process and healing looks different for everyone so be gentle and kind to yourself on this journey.   For once, I decided to take my own advice and take a year off from dating and I want to share with you all that...

I’m writing this article about a disturbing new scam that involves books on narcissistic abuse recovery. You may have noticed a flood of books on Amazon over the last 12-18 months about narcissistic abuse, trauma, and related topics.  A large number of these books are not what they appear to be.  The content is stolen or only loosely related to narcissistic abuse, or the title is misleading or intended to trick you into buying the book.  Here is how to avoid being scammed. Types of Fraudulent Books on Narcissistic Abuse Recovery First of all, if you’re looking for a high-quality...

In the days after you have gone no-contact, recovery from narcissistic abuse feels like an out-of-reach fantasy.   Narcissists leave a part of themselves inside of us after they’re gone. No matter how much you wanted to go no-contact, once they’re gone, it feels as if the narcissist has unceremoniously ripped out a part of your own body. [See The Ultimate Narcissistic Abuse Dictionary to review unfamiliar terms] We’re left sitting in shock, bleeding, wondering how everything that just happened doesn’t affect them.  Yet, despite their absence, it’s as if somehow, they’re not gone at all. In our minds and bodies,...

Healing from narcissistic abuse is a process, and the journey to recovery has many stages.  We can only begin to heal when the realizations we have about our narcissistic ex-partner lead us to an enlightened view of the relationship.   Yet, we can get stuck before we have these realizations if we do the wrong things. Below are seven things we should try not to do so we don’t get stuck on the way to a full recovery.  What to Avoid as You’re Healing from Narcissistic Abuse It’s tempting to fall into the traps below. Sometimes not doing them can...

There are ten things I’d like to put in a letter to the narcissist who destroyed me. These are things I never thought I would be able to say when our relationship first ended. Once upon a time, I thought the emotional hell of breaking up and going no-contact with a narcissist would scald me alive.  Then the intensity faded to a slow burn and now the entire relationship feels almost like a fever dream.   Was that actually me back there? Yes… and no. Oh, if he could see me now. Too bad for him — he never will. A...

Sometimes something will happen, and then out of the blue, there it is. There’s my story staring me in the face. You know what I’m talking about. Your story. The story that explains why you do what you do. Why your habits are your habits—even your bad ones. Why you tell yourself the things you do to get through the day, even when a part of you knows those things are lies. Why you can’t forgive yourself for some things, even when you’ve forgiven other people for worse. Why no matter where you go, you follow yourself around like a...

At some point in the aftermath of what we’ve been through, we confront the idea of finding someone new after the narcissist who was in our lives.  I’ve had many people, both readers and people in my personal life ask me questions about my own dating life: when I planned to… if I’m doing it… how it’s going…  Yet dating after abuse isn’t something to be taken lightly. Experiences with narcissists have made us both targets and they have made us fearful. Walking this line can put us in the crosshairs for many new pitfalls and perils, and also subject...