Category: Effects of Narcissistic Abuse

“The psychopath is like a color-blind person who sees the world in shades of gray but who has learned how to function in a colored world. He has learned that the light signal for “stop” is at the top of the traffic signal. When the color-blind person tells you he stopped at the red light, he really means he stopped at the top light. He has difficulty discussing the color of things but may have learned all sorts of ways to compensate for this problem, and in some cases, even those who know him well may not know that he cannot see colors. Like...

The Internet is a playground for narcissists. While we all love it and what it can do for us and couldn’t imagine our lives without it, the nature of the Internet provides narcissists with the biggest prop in their act and the strongest weapon in their arsenal. Ironically, despite the fact that it all takes place virtually, which tends to make things more ambiguous, it makes the false version of reality narcissists construct just a little more real.  This happens by allowing them to cast just enough light and shadow in all the right places so that the ambiguity can...

*This article applies also for husbands, girlfriends, and wives. Written with love for all those out there struggling. I have been there. Don’t let anyone ever tell you it should be easy or make you feel like it’s your fault. “Narcissists form powerful bonds with their partners that are difficult to break and, on average, it takes seven attempts to leave before finally succeeding. Understanding how narcissists manipulate you to keep you tied to the relationship can give you the leverage you need to prepare yourself to break up and go no-contact… Read more here: https://www.bolde.com/ugly-truth-cant-leave-narcissist-boyfriend/ Please note that it...

If it wasn’t clear from the title, I’d like to warn anyone going through the turmoil of breaking up with a narcissist that what I write here about narcissists and their motivations so starkly may feel harsh and painful to read.  I write it only with the best of intentions, hoping it will help others as the knowledge eventually did me.  Being with a narcissist is an extremely painful experience that keeps you stuck for months or years in confusion about what happened and can leave you unable to trust yourself. You may doubt your own memories of the relationship...

I am unsure if I can adequately put this piece of my story into words. Everyone who has been through a relationship like this one understands how you can really only talk meaningfully about a piece of it at a time– and yet even then, trying to adequately convey what happened sometimes is like trying to hold water in your hand. If I can’t put it adequately into words, I know that you who read this and have been through one of these relationships are the only ones who will come close to understanding what I intend to say. This...

Have you ever noticed that sometimes when you try to explain to other people how you were abused in narcissistic relationships, they either minimize what happened or they don’t believe you? It all comes down to a lack of understanding of a narcissist’s motivations and what they are “in it” for. The typical understanding of a narcissist is someone who stares in a mirror all day, and the typical understanding of a sociopath is a crazed killer with a butcher knife. People often fail to understand that there are those who lack the brain structure for remorse or empathy who...

Brainwashing sounds so dramatic.  I really don’t have any other word to describe it– and yet it is the case that I was not in full control of myself.  I take responsibility for my actions during that time because they were mine and no one else’s.  I was acting with my own free will. Yet I was not making decisions based on the decision-making skills that I normally use.  I was unable to rationally take care of myself the way I normally would.  Both somehow are true. I was acting against my own best interests while dating a narcissist to...