By presenting to us what feels like two completely different people, we can become snared in the narcissist’s battle for control over our perception of reality. This is where cognitive dissonance begins. It is nothing less than mind control and it must be broken. Want to learn about the five stages of leaving a narcissist? See the end of this post for information about how to read a free preview of my book, which including the first chapter and the pathological love relationship checklist. What is Cognitive Dissonance? The idea behind cognitive dissonance is that people will feel so much anxiety...

This narcissist dictionary was developed as a comprehensive resource to explain concepts you may encounter while reading about narcissistic abuse.  Many of the terms are used and explained using personal stories of survivors and the most up-to-date research in my book Why Can’t I Just Leave? You can read the first chapter for free right now here:   You can read the first chapter for free right now by clicking here This comprehensive dictionary is a living document and is updated periodically to reflect emerging research and the growing use of terminology for defining narcissism, narcissists, pathological love relationships, coercive control,...

If you’re looking for books on narcissism or narcissistic abuse recovery, below you’ll find a list of the classics, as well as some of the newest releases. The resources are listed here in no particular order. Click on a book to learn more about it and read on for how you can get an audiobook copy for free.   Finally, you’ll find a list of websites and phone numbers belonging to foundations and agencies to which you can reach out for assistance. Books on Narcissistic Abuse New Releases! Classics    Want the audiobook version of one (or two) of these books...

I’ve come to believe that the love bombing stage that takes place early in a relationship with a narcissist is the most sinister and dangerous period in the entire relationship. It’s discussed frequently, but usually only in conjunction with the other narcissistic abuse stages in the abuse cycle: idealization-devaluation-discard or sometimes (idealization-devaluation-discard-hoover). It’s often not discussed on its own, because the other stages feel so much more intensely negative that it’s easy to ignore why love bombing is so bad. What is Love Bombing? The narcissistic abuse dictionary defines love bombing as: “A period of intense positive attention from the...

8 months ago I would have had a very different Bio. I felt happy, strong and content in myself. Right now I'm writing from a shell of myself, but with hope for recovery beginning to grow as I find others who've shared the experience of loving a narcissist.

Narcissists ruin holidays and make what should be a joyful time of year into a time of tears and anxiety–and sometimes even fear.  The holidays can be a painful time of year for people who are in relationships with narcissists. It can feel as if no matter how your relationship has been going with them before the holidays even start, they can find a way to use this time of year to cause additional pain. By taking advantage of the cultural norms and expectations surrounding holidays or the disruption to normal routines, they can find creative ways to hurt and...

Sometimes something will happen, and then out of the blue, there it is. There’s my story staring me in the face. You know what I’m talking about. Your story. The story that explains why you do what you do. Why your habits are your habits—even your bad ones. Why you tell yourself the things you do to get through the day, even when a part of you knows those things are lies. Why you can’t forgive yourself for some things, even when you’ve forgiven other people for worse. Why no matter where you go, you follow yourself around like a...