Category: Effects of Narcissistic Abuse

The term “love bombing” may sound harmless on the surface. Who doesn’t want someone to bombard them with affection?  Yet narcissist love bombing is very sinister and dangerous. It disarms us and is the first step in an exploitative relationship. Love bombing almost always starts on day one in a relationship with a narcissist. It is part of the indoctrination that sets the stage for everything else that will occur during the rest of the relationship. Our emotions are used to trap us into the relationship and make it difficult to escape this narcissistic behavior. Then it can even spill...

Gaslighting is one of the most dangerous types of emotional abuse, yet gaslighting examples can be difficult to spot in everyday life. Why? It’s a covert form of abuse.  It only works because it’s invisible.  No one comes out and says they’re gaslighting you. Unlike more blatant forms of abuse, such as verbal abuse, the abuser can deny they are doing something harmful to you. This is why gaslighting is so effective.  If we have any emotional investment at all in a person who frequently gaslights us, this manipulation can create an almost insurmountable threat to our own ability to...

If you’re with a narcissist, you may be dreading the holidays. You may already be familiar with some of the ways they try to ruin any festive or fun plans you’ve tried to make.  [Read: How Narcissists Ruin Holidays: It’s Not Your Imagination] Here are some ways to survive the narcissist during the holiday season and make it through to the next year with your sanity intact. Even if you’re in no-contact, it’s important to keep in mind that holidays are a prime season for trying to pull ex-partners back into the web. Therefore, I’ve included a special section on how...

Part of the reason why it’s so hard to break up with a narcissist is that the abusive dynamic with a narcissist is formed through a series of mostly small interactions over a long period of time.   Those interactions affect us in many ways and the reasons why we stay bound to our narcissistic partners even when we want to leave become complicated. Here are six important concepts that explain narcissistic abuse in relationships. Why We Can’t Break Up with a Narcissist  The methods narcissists use are the same ones advertisers use, the same ones casinos use to entice visitors...

By presenting to us what feels like two completely different people, we can become snared in the narcissist’s battle for control over our perception of reality. This is where cognitive dissonance begins. It is nothing less than mind control and it must be broken. Want to learn about the five stages of leaving a narcissist? See the end of this post for information about how to read a free preview of my book, which including the first chapter and the pathological love relationship checklist. What is Cognitive Dissonance? The idea behind cognitive dissonance is that people will feel so much anxiety...

I’ve come to believe that the love bombing stage that takes place early in a relationship with a narcissist is the most sinister and dangerous period in the entire relationship. It’s discussed frequently, but usually only in conjunction with the other narcissistic abuse stages in the abuse cycle: idealization-devaluation-discard or sometimes (idealization-devaluation-discard-hoover). It’s often not discussed on its own, because the other stages feel so much more intensely negative that it’s easy to ignore why love bombing is so bad. What is Love Bombing? The narcissistic abuse dictionary defines love bombing as: “A period of intense positive attention from the...

Narcissists ruin holidays and make what should be a joyful time of year into a time of tears and anxiety–and sometimes even fear.  The holidays can be a painful time of year for people who are in relationships with narcissists. It can feel as if no matter how your relationship has been going with them before the holidays even start, they can find a way to use this time of year to cause additional pain. By taking advantage of the cultural norms and expectations surrounding holidays or the disruption to normal routines, they can find creative ways to hurt and...