I moved slowly, but before long, I began to recognize a familiar pattern–the same pattern eloquently captured in the nine points above. I also realized the pattern has been present in practically every relationship I’ve ever had. I immediately hit the brakes, and I’m happy I did. The most important thing I’ve learned is that *I* have played an integral role in the development and operation of the narcissistic manipulationship. Without my willing, yet unwitting, participation, it could never have taken root. I feel a bit wiser now, and I regularly give considerable thought to how I conduct myself in *all* of my relationships, paying special attention to certain red flags. Prominent among the early indicators is the sense that the other person seems to be “pushing” a bit too hard, trying to monopolize your time, climb your walls, and occupy the tower too quickly. Steps 1 through 5 above describe the process perfectly.

Hi Matthew: Thank you, and I’m so glad that you found this article helpful. I too enjoyed Stosny’s article. It was truly a game-changer for me in terms of helping me to gain a new perspective on abusive relationships. I’m happy to know that it was meaningful to you as well. Stay strong and take care of yourself! -Kristen