Hi Jonni: I guess there are things I don’t understand about what you wrote. I don’t understand how the flying monkeys can be stalking and harassing you and yet you have no contact with them. When narcissists and flying monkeys are out of our lives, we cease to be harmed by them, so those two things seem at odds with one another. If either are able to stalk and harass you, I’m unclear on how they can not be in your life. If you mean they are doing it through others, then they are still in your life. The reason I bring these things up is that there is still only so much you can control external to yourself, no matter how many people they use by-proxy to get to you. I think understanding them and what motivates them is a big part of disempowering them, because you can cease letting what they do get to you. If it’s dangerous, that’s a different story, but perhaps you will think of a way to start documenting that. It’s difficult for me to offer any solutions or suggestions without knowing specifics to what it is exactly that is being done and how. I wish you the strength to find a solution and I hope you are able to find some peace. -Kristen

Thanks for replying Kristen. I thought I mentioned that these people are not in my life at all because they don’t respect boundaries, let alone me. It’s the stalking & harassment that follows me like a horrible dark storm due to flying monkeys. Any information they receive is not by me. I have ZERO contact with my family, nor any of the friends from past. I don’t speak of them, nor do I want to know anything about them or their lives. When I said earlier they behave like hardcore drug addicts (I’m the drug), I meant that in the utmost literal sense. I can’t take any legal action as the actions taken are hard to prove. Thanks again, I will have to keep searching for a solution.

Hi Jonni: I am so sorry that you are going through this. It’s horrible when the narcissist and toxic people in our lives are family members. In answer to your question, I think that the answer is, sadly, that we don’t. We can’t control what other people do or what they think about us. We can choose only to set boundaries with people who act in this way toward us, and sometimes, depending on the situation, in extreme circumstances, that may mean removing them from our lives. But it is for you to determine what limits you will set. There is an excellent book I read recently called Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents. There is a book and then also a new workbook that came out this year that just goes more in-depth into the ideas from the first book with action steps. I highly recommend them. But the more we empower ourselves to decide what to do about how they control us, the more we can do to keep them from hurting us both emotionally and also in the external world by the things they may do. It’s not easy, but I believe the fact that you are reaching out means you are gathering strength and you understand what you need to do. Just taking the first step sometimes is the hardest. Please take care of yourself and stay strong. -Kristen

I AGREE 110% LIZZY. IVE SAID THIS SAME THING FOR A DECADE!