Hi Donna: No contact is not just physical–it’s also psychological. Without the psychological aspect of no-contact, no-contact doesn’t work–that’s how important it is. So it may seem like you can’t go no-contact because you can’t cut off all physical contact, but you can still do the most important part because you can psychologically go no-contact. Check out the concept of “gray rock” in the article on this website: “What is Gray Rock? How to Deal with a Narcissist.” Stay strong! -Kristen

Patricia Buras
You must go completly ‘No Contact’ and this includes ‘the sex’, ‘no contact and no sex’. You are his Narcissistic supply’. As much as you don’t want to hear this, you are only a supply chain to him and he probably has more ladies supplying him too.
I had the best sex ever in my whole life (I’m now 55yrs old), with my now ex-partner. I left so many times, I would have evidence off him cheating and we would argue, i would pack my bags and leave and he would phone, I would be screaming down the phone at him, he had hurt me, he had betrayed my trust!! I called him everything under the sun, a cheating scum bag/b—-rd, I would tell him to f–k off and leave me alone, I wanted nothing to do with him and about 15 mins later we would be chatting normally and I would go back!!! Can you believe it, I went back! At this point he would be sorry, he was being a c–t and it wont happen again, give him another chance and he will prove to me … we will get married and eventually move to the big house etc etc!! This was all lies, used to get me back, but then the cycle would start all over again. When I suspected he was chatting to other ladies on Social Media, he would say he was with her over 20yrs ago and he can’t stop them from messaging him!! He would chatup and delete, he never left his phone, he would even take it to the toilet with him. Only when he got so drunk, is when I would hear his phone pinging as messages came in, I would check and it was obvious from their messages they were replying to his message … etc etc they cycle went round and round …. To cut a long story short …. I finally left him Jan 2019 and I went, ‘No Contact” and to this day I’m still no contact.
He has at various stages tried to to do the hoover Technic and I went to the police every time. Finally I haven’t heard from him since Oct 2019. I changed all my phone numbers (house and mobile), blocked him off all social media platforms.

I am still in counselling since July 2018 and going back to my faith in God, it has given me the strength and courage, as I couldn’t have done this on my own! I would have died had I stayed … Truth

I will say I am still recovering even after 14months off no contact.

Please seek help

Warm regards

Jackie M xx

Hi, I was in an abuse for 10+ years. Only thing they never talk about is when it is a family member NOT a partner. He was my baby brother. I am 22 years older than him. (Half brother) I reunited after 20 years not knowing where or how he was. I have a marriage of 28 years and we never were able to have children. I reunited with a very poor person that lived in a 3rd world country. Helping him in every single way possible to a point where he ended up in the USA living with me and my husband. I could write a book like many of you. I realized he was a narcisist when I began to google questions because his reactions were NOT normal. And he is TEXT BOOK! Only thing of course he was a brother NOT a partner. (A brother who allowed me to play the role of mommy and sister and partner) we were “very close / tight” brothers that did EVERYTHING together. From fun. To daily, to financial! Of course financial was ME and my husband picking up the tab on all his WANTS AND ALL HIS TOYS. I believed I was offering him an opportunity of a life time. I was love bombed, I was told I was #1 in his life, I was the most amazing sister in the world. I was always treated EXTRA SPECIAL in front of people. (Later learned there were other stories behind my back) I lost myself to him! Getting up at 4 am to make his breakfast, lunch to take to work. Paying his Bill’s. Buying his clothes. He was my kid, partner, best friend and confidant. BTW I have an amazing husband who accepted this. He hurt me verbally more than anyone could imagine. THE CRUELTY was unbearable and some how since I was so absorbed I would let go yet not forget. Well a new supply came along he wanted to add her into the picture believing I would let her stay with us also. I said no and the fights and problems began. Eventually she won him over. (Btw he is 32) and she convinced him our relationship was wrongful. He moved out with and her family. I suffered a long time because i had lost what I believed was my best friend. We went through bo contact, fights, ge said I was too sensitive he told everyone I was crazy. Stated I was possessive. He NEVER wanted to talk things out. He went silent. HE IS TEXTBOOK! NO it didn’t last he never ever let go 100%. He would contact my husband to know how we were. Bunch of bologna! But because he is my brother I love him. I believe we are family. He married his new supply. Excluded me from everything. What did I learn…. i love the way i am. I am a good helping person. I dont just give what is extra i take from myself to give. That is way too much to give to anyone. NARC OR NOT. I learned to pace my heart and that I do love myself and what I believe. Nobody should take that away. He can say I am crazy, over emotional, dominant bla bla bla… it is just a matter of time until his wife falls in that category. Months, years, decade…but she will ! We are so love bombed and he makes you feel so special you believe it. You later realize that it is all about them. Never was what you believed the relationship was from your point of view what they believed. It is all lies! Too good to be true.
I have decided that in a silent treatment eternal fight pertrubs me. So I no longer argue, I have no opinion, I am not part of his life decisions or acts. We have a civil hi and conversations of work and very general if not stories of others not in our immediate world. He calls me daily. He doesn’t care he just keeps up the image of she is crazy but I am a good brother to the world. Until you accept that it was all a show on their behalf. Until you accept that you are a good person and he is just trying to discredit you. Until you realize that YES HE MIRRORED you. (Everything he said he would not do with his new supply he did) and all he said he would do he tossed out! Except SHOWING OFF… tattoos, cool cars, motorcycle and financially he really can not afford. NOT MY PROBLEM! but keeping things on a distance with peace with my eyes wide open worked! I hug and kiss him and tell him I love him (and I really do) but nothing he says is truthful. I dont fall into any trick, pay for anything. I help him in very minimal tasks as I would help anyone. But I watch closely my acts with him.
He taught me that I love myself! I will never lose who I am for NOBODY. You must not get over involved in people’s lives. You must not give what you do not have. They are evil , selfish people with an amazing way of manipulation. You will believe those puppy eyes. And they are Dr. Jeckel and Mr. Hide. Time does heal a broken heart. I kept thinking it’s better for me to suffer getting over it than soothing my heart trying to pretend I can make him understand. It WILL NOT HAPPEN.
Please remember narcisit abuse is not only with a spice, boyfriend, partner nor a mom. Siblings go though this.
Sadly I have empathy and i cant imagine what he suffers. But I can not help him nor will I continue to be entwined in his web.
I could go on…. I have incredible stories. Just grateful I am a survivor and I let go peacefully at the end of the day.

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