Comments on: Trouble in Paradise: Why Do Narcissists Ruin Vacations?

By: Andrea

Andrea — Fri, 16 Aug 2019 15:56:56 +0000

I tried to prepare mentally each time we went on a vacation. I knew that he cannot manage more than three days without disappearing or throwing a tantrum. But still I have agreed to go to Israel for two weeks with him and his friend. Of course after 3 days, he started walking around alone. The fourth day was Christmas. I haven’t seen him the entire day. I stayed with his friend. And as we went to another town after one week, the first day, he went into rage over a minor thing and declared that he wants to fly home. Actually I also had enough, so we were on the same page. We ended up flying home by separate flights, going to the airport 6 hours early and him not talking to me at all and abandoning me at the airport. When we’ve got home, I very calmly asked what just happened. It was New Year’s Eve. He said he felt closed in. I told him this was an opportunity to see the world! We even had plans for New Year’s Eve with one of his female friends… Of course thrown out the window. The hotel was of course paid for and they could not reimburse us… We made peace and had a wonderful evening together. Then he announced that something terrible happened. His uncle had a heart attack and has to go to the hospital the next day. Sure. It was a lie. He needed to go to his ex wife with whom he has been having an affair already for a long time, without me knowing. After the break up, I have confronted him with this episode and that I figured it was a lie and he said “But my uncle really has a heart problem”. And after all this I’m still missing the “good” parts of him. But definitely not these “relaxing “ vacations.

By: Michele

Michele — Tue, 18 Jun 2019 20:56:57 +0000

This article rings true for me in so many ways! Every vacation we have gone on has led to a fight and trying to put some space between us like the article mentioned about going down to the pool made it worse. What kind of horrible person am I for walking away, mind you while he is yelling at me! And I’m the stupid one for always hoping this trip will be better, nope it never is.

By: Kat

Kat — Tue, 11 Jun 2019 21:02:39 +0000

Mine managed to make trips upsetting. Bringing up past conflicts. Silent treatment, triangulation – finding strangers fascinating…! Conversations with strangers that went on way too long. Like—uh aren’t we on a. Romantic getaway? When I brought up my feelings /thoughts on one trip I got a menu tossed at me in a restaurant.
Ugh- so many bad memories.
——

By: Melinda

Melinda — Tue, 11 Jun 2019 19:28:11 +0000

I’m married to a narcissist, have been for 15 years. We have three children, and I’m a stay at home mom. He made it clear many years ago that any vacation we go on is HIS vacation, not mine. Because of course he works hard while I do nothing. So vacations for us essentially mean he gets to enjoy a break from work, while I’m expected to continue taking care of anything and everything family related. He’s also good at getting my hopes up about us getting away for dinner alone once during the week, and of course it never happens.