My marriage to a narc (narcissist) pastor became a thorn in my side.
After many years of narc abuse, I finally said enough is enough. I decided to find out ways to empower myself and others against the cunning craftiness of narcs.
I stayed in my marriage for many years and am still in it because I simply do not have the finances to leave.
I want to say this, many women find themselves in this predicament. We feel compelled to stay, either having to do with finances or the children. Like it or not, this is the reality.
It took years to finally come out of the mentally debilitating fog I was in. Afterward, I gained more clarity and self-awareness. What I saw was, I was a broken and co-dependent person.
I saw the belligerent, intrusive, neglectful, hurtful and downright unloving behavior I had tolerated so long for what it truly is: ABUSE, plain and simple.
My journey has seemed long and slow but I have grown a lot. It still grieves my soul that I lost so much time and the quality of life overshadowed with many sorrows.
I am grateful to God for His faithfulness because it was the Spirit of Jesus Christ that gave me hope. I spent much time in prayer and reflection. It was the strength I drew from spending time in the presence of the Lord during Bible reading, praying and journaling that I found solace and security. It took years to come to the place where I can say that I have found my broken heart to be a sanctuary for Jesus Christ.
I now have learned to guard my heart and exercise awareness.
Also, I had to learn to forgive myself. I used to beat up on myself pretty badly. I am operating in higher levels of self-compassion and love for myself first and then others.
Currently, I am strategizing to recoup lost time and finances. I try my best to live on purpose and in my purpose.
There is so much more I could say but for now, I will leave my post as is. I wish those of you who know what I am talking about and have gone through or are going through this type of abuse the very best.
Lynn Grant’s Bio:
A woman of God who loves God and the things of God. I am a person who is an empathetic person but one who is ready to stand up for herself and advocate for others.