Comments on: Why It’s So Hard To Stop Dating a Narcissist

By: Ella

Ella — Mon, 10 May 2021 19:51:55 +0000

Or as you’re coming up for air it’s something like – Oh my God I was drowning you five minutes ago! Why do you insist on constantly bringing it up? You’re obsessed! You need to learn how to move forward if we’re going to commit to this relationship, not get stuck in bitterness & drag everyone around you down with you! I’m committed to making this work why aren’t you? You’re making me sound like a terrible person! You’re bullying me! Now as punishment I’m going to drown you even harder while telling you how much I love you like I’ve never loved before or even knew was possible and would give everything I am and have to stop you from drowning even if I have to drown instead! Bitch! Ah good times, good times 🙂

By: Kat

Kat — Fri, 07 Feb 2020 05:12:05 +0000

This is excellent! How you capture how these entanglements occur and pan out. It was the most mind-bending experience I’ve ever experienced. It was painful. Even while I was in it- after the second realization that you mention… There were so many times my heart just sank. So many times the futility of it was just overwhelming. So many times I was left speechless. I learned a lot. I am 2 1/2 years out of the entanglement. It took me over a year to stop obsessing over it and feeling awful and imagining they were on to this fabulous life with someone else. And it took me another year to totally feel free. To reclaim my inner health and outer health. To feel happy alone and in my own skin. To have an exhilarating hope for the future that includes nobody but me. I have actually spoken with my ex several times in the last two years. I have seen them with the new person very recently. And I finally came To a point where I feel compassion for the new person because I can sense and see that nothing has changed… And they’re going to experience much of what I did if not more. I don’t feel the need to obsess over it anymore. I know how to play the game when I speak with my ex. I don’t bring up anything that would make them appear in a bad light. I don’t bring up the past I don’t ask about the new person I don’t discuss my feelings about what happened because that narrative is 100% rewritten by the narcissist. I play the game. It’s kind of fascinating now that I’ve studied NPDFor so long. I was studying it before I was discarded. In fact I was studying it within the first year… Because the behavior fit. Anyways I have a very analytical mind and that may have been part of why I stayed too long. I do know I was addicted. And maybe I found it fascinating and it became like a game in my head or something… But I’m glad to be out of it. My mind is much clearer my relationships with other people are much better I hardly drink alcohol anymore my anxiety is really low. I hope this excellent article makes it in front of the eyes of the people that need to see it and that it helps them. Thank you!

By: Because like you note -it is a dangerous addiction and hard to get out of if you go down the road. Thank you so much for this excellent essay and I hope people that need to see it see it and it wakes them up and gives them strength!

Fri, 07 Feb 2020 04:18:38 +0000

Amazing how you captured how this all occurs – it was one of the most emotionally Painful and complicated mind-bending experiences I’ve ever been through. And in some ways that may have been why I stayed engaged longer than I should have. And it definitely still amazes me and I’m out for 2 1/2 years now. I am at peace with everything and I have actually spoken with my ex several times and I have genuine compassion which I don’t state Because they would be like why do I need compassion? Unless it is compassion for other things in their life then I definitely show that. Because I know my role is to solely feed their needs. I play the game. I feel empowered. I expect nothing from them. And I find it fascinating how everything they do is predictable now that I have studied narcissistic personalityDisorder in depth. I have no fear that I will ever be entangled with one again because I feel I have shored up my own self and will never accept such behavior again And believe that I will be able to handle it or change it.
Because like you note it is a dangerous addiction and hard to get out of if you go down the road. Thank you so much for this excellent essay and I hope people that need to see it see it and it wakes them up and gives them strength!

By: Kristen Milstead

Kristen Milstead — Sun, 11 Mar 2018 20:18:01 +0000

In reply to Katalyna. Thank you. Yes, it makes me angry as well!

By: Katalyna

Katalyna — Sun, 11 Mar 2018 06:39:03 +0000

Wow. This is a really great summation of what it is like. It really makes me sad and a bit angry that they’re able to do this to unsuspecting people. Causes so much damage and most people just have no idea what it’s like to get ensnared.