Hi Jacky: Thank you for your kind words. I genuinely appreciate them and I hope you are doing well. -Kristen

Hi Jill: I’m glad that you have found these articles helpful. The fact that you are here reading them and leaving comments means that you have the strength inside of you to leave- you only need to gather it, and I know you will. There are so many of us out here who have been where you have been. You are not alone! Thank you for leaving a comment. Stay strong! -Kristen

Hi Etka: I don’t know all of the details of your story, of course, but you are not responsible for his actions. It sounds as if he is using what he has “given up” to manipulate you into staying in a relationship where you must accept his bad behavior. In this case, you are not letting him down– he is letting you down. This is how they twist things around to make us feel obligated or make us feel “lucky” that we are with them, or to confuse us by treating us well (choosing us, or at least partially choosing us) and hurting us at the same time. After all, why choose us only to hurt us? It’s hard to break through all of the thoughts and emotions they stir in us, but the fact that you’re here reading all of this and commenting means that you have something inside you that wants to break free. I know you will find the strength to do it. Please stay strong! -Kristen

Hi CJ: Thank you for taking the time to comment. I’m sorry about what you have been through, and it’s wonderful to hear how you have been able to find and empower yourself again and realize what is important. I wanted to say that I don’t think we disagree. The things that they tell you are worthless about ourselves are some of our best qualities and things about ourselves that we loved– those are the things they wanted to tear down, so that we would remain bonded to them emotionally, in my opinion. While there are likely different paths to understanding that, #1 and #2 were paths for me to realizing that, as they altered the mindset about myself and about the relationship I had developed while I was with him. Although they may not work for everyone, I included them, and everything else on the list, in case anything on it was able to help anyone else. Thank you for your insights about sticking to what’s important about yourself! Sometimes just focusing on what you want to change *is* self-care. -Kristen

I was told…”he will never be good enough again”. This comment came from his sister. This simple statement gets me through a lot of days when my children ask me why he isn’t here. I don’t tell them that…but it helps me.

Thank you for taking the time to share your story so honest and open. It makes me happy to read about your happiness and growth. Life has so much beautiful things to offer.

Jacky????