I agree completely and re-read this paragraph three times.

You wrote:
“So all those things the narcissist said about who you are, what kind of person you are, your value in relationships or how much you can be loved are not just lies, they’re the demented ravings and projections of someone who cannot keep another person in a relationship without trying to tear them down or make them dependent in some way.

Remember, narcissists want beautiful, smart, loving, and caring people who amplify their own image and make them feel special. They just don’t want you to know that’s what they think of you because they’re afraid of you.

They were always afraid you were going to leave or outshine them, that someone else would see how wonderful you were or that you would realize how bad they were for you and walk away.”

I mean wow….

Hi, just wanted to check in how you’re holding up since I can see you posted not too long ago 🙂 I have been trying to deal with being discarded for a month now, and articles like this seem to put me on the right path as well.

I burst into tears halfway through reading #1 and realized.. What I thought was my forever was just someone draining me slowly and eventually breaking my heart and spirit all while I sat back trying everything to help fix her broken past before she knew me and I wanted nothing more than to love this woman forever.. It was all a fabrication or an illusion being cast on me until I was drained dry and thrown away. It really does feel like it was all a dream too. That’s a bittersweet reality to face.

Two years later I am still having flashbacks to some of the good times but I have to remind myself, those days were just another weapon in the arsenal. They will do whatever manipulative act is needed to get the supply they need.

I am officially going no contact and closing that chapter forever.. I’m broken but I didn’t die. She gets nothing else from me ever again, she took all I had anyway.. she took something from me and I don’t mean material things. I even feel like my overall well-being and health was destroyed through the trauma.

I’ll rebuild.. One step at a time.

Articles like this help more than people realize. Narc abuse is something that sadly a lot of people won’t and can’t truly understand, until they go through it themselves.

Blessings,

Jody Mitchell

PS- I accidentally commented this to someone else but meant to make my own. I apologize.

Same Girl. 2 Days out and we are CELEBRATING!

It is hard to believe that the man I thought was “the one” could possibly do this to me. The ghosting, cheating, non-stop lying. But now I acknowledge that he never meant to be in my life longer-term. He was the archetype of a narcissist.

two years in – 3 days out.

I feel good about this.

I went to sleep thursday night & ive stayed in bed.
And thats not a response thats usual for normal healthy minded individuals. Jim being nice, especially when its not a natural act of ones nature, isnt changing.
U are who u are and u always will be. I will always have a special place for u in my heart. Im not thanking u by any means, but bc of ur abuse when i met u it woke me up from the walking dead girl state I was in. I realized after a few months that I was spending a lot of energy actually fighting u to try to love u. And since I saw I had that energy again, that fight in me again, that I was not going to waste it & use it to get myself up and out of that walking dead zone i was in. I was going to use my anger, that i hadnt felt in such a long time, as positive fuel for my better. And it didnt stop. It lasted 5 whole years. Well, I have now returned from a place ppl Dont return from. They commit suicide.
I wouldnt have done that without that. So No, I dont “thank you” for ur abuse. But u will always hold a special place in my heart bc Im alive and better than i ever was. Im not back to the very same person I was, but an even better version than Ive ever been. Just without my children. I contribute my thank you’s to God.
He crossed our pathes for a reason. U were my defibrillator. But now that I have my strength back ur abuse is no longer welcome. Strong ppl with boundaries wont accept that. Its bc we know our value and have boundaries to how we will only accept being treated. And i wont accept being treated the only way U know how to act.
Being nice Jim is lovely. But I already Know u. I know ur entire existing personality. Ur traits, ur quirks, the way u think, u way u operate when things need a solution. And when everything is going smoothly. When u do something wrong or hurtful, how u remedy it or lack thereof. Ur trustworthyness. And the kicker, the most valuable and important thing of all. That I can not trust in you to be open and vulnerable in ur presence with u.
For someone to be another persons “person” they have to feel safe to be allowed to feel vulnerable with that person. It took me a long time to pinpoint that. And with that being said, that is the one main thing ive identified. That everytime I know Im going to spend anytime around u I have to put my
Armour on to shield my heart from the atrocities that fly when Im around u. U either deny or refuse to acknowledge the wrongs and or mistakes that u make along the way. And then stand firm on ur ground, actually fighting in ur defense, as if u were correct, the most correct mind u, in the given situation. I wont and cant accept nor deal with that. I deserve better than any of That. Im actually much better a catch than most chics out there and deserve to be appreciated and for someone to show they feel that. Nothing less. Bc thats what i do. And thats what healthy, normal minded ppl do.

Now, Im not saying this will put a stop to it, but it does show me that U Can heal very nicely if u Want to & u Believe it.
There Is Hope for everyone going thru the struggle. Look at it as it is proving ur true strength that u didn’t even know u had.
Stand up and Win. For urself and ur kids. U CAN DO IT!! God Bless.
Thank u Kristen for ur strength, encouraging filled website.