Comments on: Stop Blaming Yourself! Narcissists Target Others Based on Their Good Qualities

By: Brittany

Brittany — Fri, 24 Apr 2020 22:42:44 +0000

Thank you Kristen. I can’t tell you how your blogs have helped me tremendously. My feelings for my narcissist/con artist has passed. Everything you said in each post was directly related to my 2 years of hell. I’m definitely a different person now and I miss the old me. I’m still being harassed and manipulated by my ex. He tracks my every move and calls me from different numbers pretending to be someone else. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t cate anymore because I’m hoping it will get old after awhile. It’s his manipulation tactics that he is trying to get me to call him. He is blocked completely so I hope it gets better son. My eyes are wide open thanks to you. I really thought I was the one losing it.

By: Kristen Milstead

Kristen Milstead — Tue, 20 Feb 2018 12:09:57 +0000

In reply to Anaida. Thank you so much for reading, Anaida. ????

By: Anaida

Anaida — Tue, 20 Feb 2018 05:51:10 +0000

Very well explained points.
It all makes sense when the fog clears…

By: Anaida

Anaida — Tue, 20 Feb 2018 05:50:21 +0000

In reply to personaldevelopment154667253. Thank you so much!

By: personaldevelopment154667253

personaldevelopment154667253 — Tue, 13 Feb 2018 03:04:23 +0000

In reply to Kristen Milstead.

I too don’t want to become jaded. I’m not ready to get involved with anyone just yet and am not good at casual dating. But I am giving some serious thought to how I’ll approach my next relationship. I also wonder, when the time comes to share experiences about past relationships what I’ll say. In some way, I think it’s positive to look ahead instead of behind. I definitely believe there is someone out there for me who is as good of a person as I am. 🙂 – Sara

By: Kristen Milstead

Kristen Milstead — Tue, 13 Feb 2018 02:12:37 +0000

In reply to personaldevelopment154667253. Thank you, Sara. I am in that place as well. The acceptance comes and goes, but I am slowly figuring out how to make peace with it. One of the hard parts I think will be accepting it without changing myself, meaning, not becoming a jaded person myself. I refuse to do that, so I am figuring out how to integrate the two beliefs so they can somehow co-exist. Thank you for sharing your thoughts today. It helps knowing others are on the same journey.

By: personaldevelopment154667253

personaldevelopment154667253 — Tue, 13 Feb 2018 01:55:11 +0000

“Remember– if we were as flawed as they tried to make us believe, we wouldn’t have been chosen in the first place. Narcissists only want the best.”
Very well said, Kristen.

The truth is narcissists are drawn to people who have the very qualities they lack such as a genuine capacity to see the good in others. By manipulating and taking advantage of our goodness, they steal our innocence. As you said,
“Accepting what really happened in the relationship essentially means that we have to reject our own worldview and replace it with a new one in which not everyone has the same heart that we do. It can be a painful and difficult realization to have to face that some people deliberately set out to harm and exploit others.” That is where I am in my recovery, and I am finding it difficult.

Thank you, Kristen, for sharing your writings and insights. They are extremely helpful. All the best, Sara