Comments on: The Unlucky 13 Different Types of Narcissism

By: Anette

Anette — Tue, 16 Feb 2021 12:39:54 +0000

If one read deep into the BPD diagnosis you will find traits from every part of the DSMV spectrum in that diagnosis: evasive, dependant, narcissistic and maniac disorders.
That’s why it’s so difficult to diagnose.
Borderline can have narcissistic traits, especially when not treated. They can wiggle the therapist around their fingers as well and f*CK with the relationship. Borderline patients and in reality – every heavily traumatized person – have physical changes in their amygdala, hippocampus and prefrontal cortex…

Borderline especially suffers from abandonment issues as well as some might know. Maybe it will be of use to others on this blog to know that 🙂

By: Sade

Sade — Mon, 22 Jun 2020 10:21:08 +0000

So spot on it’s scary! I’ve researched read so many blogs,articles.This is the first time someone has actually hit everything on the nail.Thank you kristen’s.Great work

By: Kristen Milstead

Kristen Milstead — Wed, 08 Jan 2020 13:23:42 +0000

In reply to Xie. Hi Xie: You make a good comment. Some narcissists are able to care about others (which is the point of the example), however, they can shut off their empathy under certain circumstances. The example is attempting to convey that the woman has some of the characteristics of narcissism, such as a sense of entitlement to her partner giving unreasonable amounts of attention and does not show empathy for her partner's feelings for going outside the relationship to get it because she feels entitled to this attention in a relationship in the first place and deems it his fault for not providing it. The example is meant as a point of comparison with the other example to show the range of behaviors and characteristics that lie on a spectrum of narcissism. Knowing that not all narcissists engage in similar types of harmful behavior or for the same reasons was extremely helpful for me in learning not to allow my partner to deny his abuse because it didn't fit with every single thing I read. There are nuances out there (see the citations for more reading on that). I think that never actually knowing someone's true intentions, and the fact that narcissists are so good at hiding theirs, is one of the reasons why it's so difficult for people to leave these relationships in the first place. I really agree with you that the fear of abandonment issue in a person with BPD can look really similar in a lot of ways. I think it may look different in the degree of shame and regret expressed. Narcissists are often more confident about feeling justified about the pain they inflict because accepting they've done something wrong would mean feeling deep shame that they would have a difficult time accepting. Thanks for leaving a comment. -Kristen

By: Xie

Xie — Tue, 07 Jan 2020 18:17:43 +0000

The second example you have in the first part of this article seems closer to the actions of someone with BPD, not narcissism. The rest of your examples and explanations make sense, but the case you present doesn’t fit because she actually cares about the other person and is acting out of perceived abandonment. Maybe this case would be an example of someone on a spectrum of narcissism, but I’m interested in how you have presented this case. As is, it seems her actions are motivated by fear of abandonment and she does have empathy, rather than her actions being driven by feeling superior or fearing her inadequacy will be revealed. NPD have no actual self worth and are constantly trying to prove it to themselves through affirmation from others or putting others below them. BPD are seeking a stable connection to another human so that they can feel stable within their own identity, and end up displaying symptoms that are often perceived as narcissistic.

By: standard oyster company

standard oyster company — Wed, 25 Sep 2019 07:38:16 +0000

Way cool! Some very valid points! I appreciate you writing this article and the rest of the website is also really good.

By: Marnie

Marnie — Sun, 31 Mar 2019 00:43:56 +0000

Mine was a malignant sadistic. Yay.

By: Max

Max — Fri, 18 Jan 2019 20:50:08 +0000

Hi Kristen. I can’t put into words how happy I am that you decided to create your blog/site. I have read numerous online articles, sites, and books, but none have ever come too close to explaining what I was/am experiencing with my now ex. I feel to be among the minority as my ex is a female and most of the things I read are of the opposite gender. I’m also in a tough situation as we have two young children together, so “no-contact” is not an option. It’s definitely a tightrope walk, to say the least. It wasn’t until after I left her that I came across the word “narcissism”…and after a little research I realized that is what I was exposed to, which brought me to tears…literally. Regarding this article, she started out as a “vulnerable covert” narcissist, which then lead into a “malignant covert”, though she still retains the former at times. Thank you so much for introducing me to cognitive dissonance because this is what I’ve struggled with so much in the last few years and now I understand. What really brought it home is what you said about the relationship only really ending when I say it’s time because she will continue to abuse me otherwise. So simple a thought, but so very very true. BTW…I love the Instagram comic that shows the black/white rabbit(?) getting the lion out of its’ cage only to be ravaged by the lion. I laughed hard at that one because it’s so true as well. That’s what I get for being an empath I guess…lol. Thanks again and keep it up.