Comments on: After Narcissistic Abuse: I’ll Never Be the Person I Used to Be

By: Jane

Jane — Sun, 16 Aug 2020 18:18:44 +0000

This article very much reflects my experience.

I am around two years post-discard now. Four dress sizes up on what I was and with a face that doesn’t look like me anymore. I am with a truly kind man now… who randomly tells me I am beautiful and means it. I am so much happier and find myself occasionally snorting with genuine mirth at the stupid shit that was once said to me when I was being too “me”… like tyre marks in the garage must mean I’m cheating. I hardly ever get those excruciating pangs of guilt and shame when I remember how unbelievably lovely he could be (between gaslighting me half to death)… still … I just don’t look like me any more.

Photographs of me in the middle of it all are an eye opener – a hollow eyed wreck of a woman stares back at me, someone hanging on by the skin of their teeth. I’m hopeful that the lingering effects will completely wear off sometime soon and I will go back to the smiling, healthy person that I was before completely shredded in three short years.

I read somewhere to expect 1-2 years to recover… I’d say longer to really, truly be you again.

By: Collin

Collin — Mon, 25 May 2020 06:54:56 +0000

I am reading these articles and it amazes me at how much I relate. Years with my narc then years after I am still trying to remember who I am. I can remember some memories of who I used to be… I was fun. But now I struggle every time a man wraps his arms around me. Or touches me at all. I unintentionally pull away from any form of romantic touch I receive. I want so badly to love again, but now I am not even sure how to act around a man. I always appear to be uninterested even if I am. Every now and then I have a dream of my ex and I wake up feeling it all over again. I do not want to go back, I just want to move on. I try, but i ruin it before it even begins…

By: Billie jo

Billie jo — Wed, 19 Feb 2020 16:23:36 +0000

It’s been a year since I left my narcissist boyfriend who I spent 7 years planning my future with! I was pretty much a useless unlovable shell of a thing when I left. Wanted to die and near cried and ate myself to death! I have days where I feel empowered and see hope for my future but mostly I feel numb and struggle to find a reason to live! I know I don’t want that life anymore but I wonder if I’ll ever feel happy or whole again! Thank you for all your insight and helping me feel that I’m not alone in my thoughts and that i’m not crazy . Happy thoughts and best wishes for a successful recovery to everyone!

By: PAULO AFFONSO SOARES GAETA

PAULO AFFONSO SOARES GAETA — Thu, 02 Jan 2020 06:18:04 +0000

In reply to Suzanne Trundy. You are in cognitive Dissonance. It’s impossible to heal until you resolve the cognitive dissonance and start to see him for what he is: A heartless reptile who never loved you.

By: Kevin

Kevin — Thu, 02 Jan 2020 02:35:37 +0000

You WILL make it, I promise! The very place we sought refuge to is the very place we were in bondage. You will make it, your not alone!

By: M

Mon, 30 Dec 2019 16:32:49 +0000

Thank you.

By: Patty

Patty — Sun, 15 Dec 2019 13:21:04 +0000

Thank you for your insights and clarity.

By: Suzanne Trundy

Suzanne Trundy — Fri, 29 Nov 2019 12:22:23 +0000

I have been reading about Narcissistic abusebfor the past 3 years after Googling my ex narcs behaviors and Narcissism popping up and then time after time reading my life like a book..the final discard after 8 years and the most horrific verbal, mental and physical abuse (that I have been shamed for enduring and feel shame for enduring) by the “Man” that I considered to be my best friend and my “person” that to this day I still hold dear & lost without… even though he left me penniless, destitute, homeless and hungry in the woods after chasing me down with a machete so that he coukd 3 days later post pics with his new love on FB while his new gf called me the abuser and the reason for his damaged life. Long story short, I find myself doubting (after 3 months of no contact) if maybe my ‘diagnosis’ of him is wrong and maybe I did drive him to go from “uncondionally” loving me to leaving without a trace. I read so much and listen to so many, but, this article really hit home for me. Thank you very much. Cheers to our recovery.

By: Michelle

Michelle — Thu, 28 Nov 2019 09:11:26 +0000

Wow, definitely sums it up, nobody post narcissistic abuse is the person they used to be, they’re hollowed out shells, however once they finally get the strength to leave their tormentor/saviour…….they will rise like a great Phoenix from the ashes of what was the ruins of a life their Narc created and soar to great heights and become their best free beautiful self

By: Paulo Gaeta

Paulo Gaeta — Wed, 27 Nov 2019 06:17:26 +0000

Thank you so much for this beautiful article. Yes, it really helped me to feel seen and validated. Take care and I wish you an even stronger recovery, full of beautiful insights!