Comments on: How to Deal with a Narcissist When You Can’t Go No Contact

By: Rox

Rox — Sat, 30 Sep 2023 13:11:40 +0000

I’m aware and awake and ready for the next step and you’re a angel for writing this article thank you so very much

By: JASON CARNEY

JASON CARNEY — Thu, 14 Apr 2022 04:46:13 +0000

About 5 years ago my sons mom kicked me out. For years I had been in love with her and we were finally together for 7-9 months? When we separated I didnt understand why. I decided to keep trying to fix my family. We started couples counseling but the therapist ‘fired’ me as a client. Devastated? Yep. Went and found someone else to see but he and I didnt accomplish much… She convinced mt to rent a place 4 doors down… then things got weird… I focused on trying to figure out what had gone wrong so I could fix whatever in me needed fixing. I shard my journey with her and after she went through a coup;e of abusive relationships and I had read a couple hundred hours of self directed research I realixed we each had all of the symptoms of cptsd. We got pregnant and she moved some abusive creep in. I found God after being the WORST blasphemer for my whole life. I kept my focus on trying to fix our family…. He got to be too much and then..he was gone. We reconnected. fell in love and were going to get married…. I had finally gotten my chance to make things right..
then she moved her longtime girlfriend in… I had been trying to point out how things were happening the same as before. Anyhow , I got to know my daughter at my ex’s house. I am close to her 2 yrs old now, our son is 8. The gf is abusive, its escalating and im not sure how to be what to do. Srarted with yelling at kids mom then it got craizer and crazier beat her up for flirting and left her (my kids mom) on the side of the road 40 miles away. Yes I answered and went to pick her up… all the way home she was telling me she was gonna kick her out. By the time we were in the driveway she was asking if maybe she deserved it? i TRY TO BE a friend and have resisted the gf attempts to isolate her completly… My thing (my path to healing) has mostly been bibliotherapy as I havent found a therapist that has been worth the phonecall… None seem to be trauma informed nor able to discuss childhood trauma and how that leaves one open to further abuse later in life. I mention this as EMDR therapy seems helpful to many, Adult Survivors if Child Abuse has a workbook Survivor to Thriver with online support meetings as well. In anycase once I realized there was help out there already and I didnt have to create a cure I relaxed a bit… but kept focuse on all I can change is me. Rece ntly I shared a kindle ebook with my ex “Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse” that she said was 86-90% her life… Then I read up on trauma bonding…. talk about some scary stuff.
Thing is my ex let this other broad beat her up shatter windows in her house and they fight all the time. I feel like they are grown and its not my place to say anything.. They started therapy after the last meltdown blowup. Somehow the first thing they do is the abusive narc gf makes it all about me. I work 6 days a week 70 hrs if i can and drive 2 hours a day getting to the job.
Still havent been able to talk about this book with my ex. However all the ‘signs of trauma bonding’ or narc abuse quizes have me realizing how dumb i am. Feels like all i can do is go live by work and hope this isnt what it looks like. SEEMS like shes been hoovered again..
Sotty. The story is the price you just paid for this (fruit of my research: NLP technique called 10 min phobia cure and Spinning Emotions are helpful. I read learned and applied to myself (like most things, if you can make the WHY big enough the HOW takes care of itself. …. has some other advanced stuff if you have a therapist who is willing to try new things. I wanted to share this info with anyone still struggling. If you dont have a therapist or want to put in the effort yourself… well its working for me. your millage may vary.
(my most recent EMDR therapist and I couldnt find any emotionally charged memories from my childhood to work with… which added to this book above makes me wonder if ALL MY ISSUES WERE FROM MY EX BELIEVING HER NARC AND MINE IS SECOND HAND??? May God help us to help ourselves. All glory TO CHRIST MY LORD

By: Unknown

Unknown — Thu, 22 Jul 2021 12:17:21 +0000

I have to say this is on a different spectrum for me in many ways. I am starting to believe everything he tells me I am. I am starting to question everything I’ve ever known about myself. He has me so beat down I can’t even breathe. I can’t even get time with my family alone. I am suffocated by him and when I did leave one time the heartbreak was so horrible to bear. How can I be done but not be done? He’s lied about HIV and so much more.

By: Nicole

Nicole — Tue, 03 Dec 2019 13:00:06 +0000

In reply to Shann.

Hello I am going through something similar…

By: Lull

Lull — Fri, 16 Aug 2019 18:33:21 +0000

Thank you for this post. I am exactly at this stage. Trying really hard to leave my narcissistic exboyfriend. I just found out about his narcissistic pathology a month ago. When we broke up finally after 2 years of relationship. You have no idea how much this kind of information helped me.

By: Shirley

Shirley — Sun, 21 Apr 2019 00:23:29 +0000

Hi kristen. Unfortunately my mother is a narcisscist and in the spiritual world you can say she is a jezebel spirit. She ruined me and am planning to seperate from her and keep her in some old age. These narcisscists are the shittiest people and abusers I have been through. Thats why my father walked away when I was 5 and another 35 years she made me a scapegoat. I came to know only in 2017 that she is a jezebel siprit a narcisscist and the only way I can get rid of her is to dump her in some old aged home as I live as a tenant after she ruined my career and everything. This is a great article. Had I knew much earlier I would have left her. It will take a long time to recover what she has done to me but I know I have to move on. Am mentally tired.

By: Shann

Shann — Sun, 17 Mar 2019 16:26:06 +0000

Thank you for your article. It is right on point. I’m completely embarrassed to say that I have been with my narc for 15 years… what makes it so hard for me is that we have three children and they love him. Also I feel as though I have built him up for some other woman – he cooks, cleans and open doors… however he has all the characteristics of a narc, continually to do things that he apologizes for but returns back to them without remorse. He never means his apologies, he just says I want I want to hear… for his own comfort. He always repeat the same thing he just apologizes for… I feel lost and helpless… especially with my three innocent kids…

By: Sentrosi

Sentrosi — Sun, 03 Feb 2019 22:22:07 +0000

In reply to Hannelore. I can't believe, we've been through same situations here. The first 3 months he was okay, but then he started to show his real self. Been married for 8 months but I couldn't stand it any longer so I asked for Divorce.

By: Kristen Milstead

Kristen Milstead — Wed, 28 Nov 2018 14:36:25 +0000

In reply to Magda. Hi Magda: I am so sorry for what you are going through. You're not alone. So many of us have been where you have been. It takes time but you too can find the power to leave and take your own life back from him. Keep reading and making your mind strong to keep it resistant to what he does. Please stay strong and try to take care of yourself. -Kristen

By: Magda

Magda — Sat, 10 Nov 2018 23:20:53 +0000

Hello Kristen ,I found myself in every word you wrote ,still with him, still afraid for not finding ,,love,, like this ,memories like with him ,I still love him so much, it’s heartbreaking for me and I cry right now and pray to God for power. I can’t leave him ,but it’s so painful ,my heart it’s more than broken. We have a little son ,can’t imagine life without him,but can’t imagine too for feeling that kind of pain for rest of my life. God help me. Thank You Kristen for that article. I found myself here in every sentence especially where You wrote about that u even didn’t want to fall asleep just for look at him while his sleeping , I was so happy I felt love every piece of my body ,now that changed into pain ,but still love him so much. Take care Kristin ,bless U that u found power to leave him. Magda