Comments on: Trauma Bonding: Explaining Your Narcissistic Relationship https://fairytaleshadows.com/how-narcissists-get-away-with-abuse-the-double-standards-of-victim-blaming/ Living Through and Recovering From a Relationship with a Narcissist Sat, 13 Feb 2021 02:30:27 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.7.5 By: Leo https://fairytaleshadows.com/how-narcissists-get-away-with-abuse-the-double-standards-of-victim-blaming/comment-page-1/#comment-17504 Tue, 19 Nov 2019 09:36:04 +0000 https://fairytaleshadows.com/?p=312#comment-17504 I watched your books earlier, however this one I believe the best.

]]> By: What Cruelty By a Narcissist Looks Like | In the Shadows of the Fairy Tale https://fairytaleshadows.com/how-narcissists-get-away-with-abuse-the-double-standards-of-victim-blaming/comment-page-1/#comment-1136 Wed, 20 Jun 2018 19:09:20 +0000 https://fairytaleshadows.com/?p=312#comment-1136 […] Ever Try to Explain Your Relationship with the Narcissist? Here’s Why it All Goes Wrong […]

]]> By: Kristen Milstead https://fairytaleshadows.com/how-narcissists-get-away-with-abuse-the-double-standards-of-victim-blaming/comment-page-1/#comment-1101 Wed, 06 Jun 2018 06:18:37 +0000 https://fairytaleshadows.com/?p=312#comment-1101 In reply to Faith.

Hi Faith. I assume that since you’re online reading articles about narcissism that you have seen some red flags or have a feeling in your gut something isn’t right? I don’t know your situation so I don’t know anything other than what you’ve told me. But what I can say is that if your boyfriend is truly a narcissist, they cannot just suddenly decide to change, as narcissism is a defense mechanism developed when someone is young over a period of years and it would take a long time and professional help to dismantle it and put healthy behaviors in its place– if at all. It’s linked to differences in the pre-frontal cortex and amygdala in the brain that partially explain the lack of empathy and remorse, so just deciding to act differently one day would be nearly impossible. I don’t say all of this to be discouraging or make you feel bad, but because I would feel as I would be doing a disservice if I didn’t point it out. Maybe he is not a narcissist, and he has seen where he went wrong in the past and is really changing. You’ll have to decide this for yourself. When you think through all of the signs and symptoms of someone being a narcissist, when you think through the narcissstic relationship cycle, do you see this keep repeating for him (and is it happening for you)? Please be careful and thank you for taking the time to tell your story. -Kristen

]]> By: Kristen Milstead https://fairytaleshadows.com/how-narcissists-get-away-with-abuse-the-double-standards-of-victim-blaming/comment-page-1/#comment-284 Wed, 06 Jun 2018 06:18:37 +0000 https://fairytaleshadows.com/?p=312#comment-284 In reply to Faith.

Hi Faith. I assume that since you’re online reading articles about narcissism that you have seen some red flags or have a feeling in your gut something isn’t right? I don’t know your situation so I don’t know anything other than what you’ve told me. But what I can say is that if your boyfriend is truly a narcissist, they cannot just suddenly decide to change, as narcissism is a defense mechanism developed when someone is young over a period of years and it would take a long time and professional help to dismantle it and put healthy behaviors in its place– if at all. It’s linked to differences in the pre-frontal cortex and amygdala in the brain that partially explain the lack of empathy and remorse, so just deciding to act differently one day would be nearly impossible. I don’t say all of this to be discouraging or make you feel bad, but because I would feel as I would be doing a disservice if I didn’t point it out. Maybe he is not a narcissist, and he has seen where he went wrong in the past and is really changing. You’ll have to decide this for yourself. When you think through all of the signs and symptoms of someone being a narcissist, when you think through the narcissstic relationship cycle, do you see this keep repeating for him (and is it happening for you)? Please be careful and thank you for taking the time to tell your story. -Kristen

]]> By: Faith https://fairytaleshadows.com/how-narcissists-get-away-with-abuse-the-double-standards-of-victim-blaming/comment-page-1/#comment-1100 Wed, 06 Jun 2018 05:54:01 +0000 https://fairytaleshadows.com/?p=312#comment-1100 I love my man and I hope and pray that he will change for me because he loves me more than any of the others. Yes he cheated with me on his ex wife but he promises hes turned over a new leaf and it will never happen again. The women he seen in the past still want him but he promises he hasn’t had anything to do with them. I really want to believe him but what if it’s all a lie just like the lies he told the ex wife? We have moved in together in I’ve put my house up for sale so I’m hoping this is perminent but yet I’m scared to death it could all fall apart at any minute.

]]> By: Faith https://fairytaleshadows.com/how-narcissists-get-away-with-abuse-the-double-standards-of-victim-blaming/comment-page-1/#comment-283 Wed, 06 Jun 2018 05:54:01 +0000 https://fairytaleshadows.com/?p=312#comment-283 I love my man and I hope and pray that he will change for me because he loves me more than any of the others. Yes he cheated with me on his ex wife but he promises hes turned over a new leaf and it will never happen again. The women he seen in the past still want him but he promises he hasn’t had anything to do with them. I really want to believe him but what if it’s all a lie just like the lies he told the ex wife? We have moved in together in I’ve put my house up for sale so I’m hoping this is perminent but yet I’m scared to death it could all fall apart at any minute.

]]> By: 5 Things Narcissists Would Use Against Us Forever If We Let Them | In the Shadows of the Fairy Tale https://fairytaleshadows.com/how-narcissists-get-away-with-abuse-the-double-standards-of-victim-blaming/comment-page-1/#comment-1097 Wed, 06 Jun 2018 05:51:53 +0000 https://fairytaleshadows.com/?p=312#comment-1097 […] Ever Try to Explain Your Relationship with the Narcissist? Here’s Why it All Goes Wrong […]

]]> By: Kristen Milstead https://fairytaleshadows.com/how-narcissists-get-away-with-abuse-the-double-standards-of-victim-blaming/comment-page-1/#comment-281 Sun, 08 Apr 2018 02:17:27 +0000 https://fairytaleshadows.com/?p=312#comment-281 In reply to Bob F..

Yes, that’s a great analogy!

]]> By: Kristen Milstead https://fairytaleshadows.com/how-narcissists-get-away-with-abuse-the-double-standards-of-victim-blaming/comment-page-1/#comment-280 Sat, 07 Apr 2018 20:33:24 +0000 https://fairytaleshadows.com/?p=312#comment-280 In reply to Bob F..

Yes, I love this analogy too!

]]> By: Bob F. https://fairytaleshadows.com/how-narcissists-get-away-with-abuse-the-double-standards-of-victim-blaming/comment-page-1/#comment-279 Sat, 07 Apr 2018 00:46:03 +0000 https://fairytaleshadows.com/?p=312#comment-279 Great article, and yeah from the inside it is very difficult to explain to people on the outside. I use the boiling frog analogy. At first the frog enjoys the warm water, but then things get very gradually worse until it’s too late for the frog. Luckily we’re smarter than frogs, or at least we like to think so.

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