These “people” are just self destructive with no compassion for anyone else get out of there and go no contact asap

I wish I could follow your advise .it’s so hard. Thankyou for sharing, I’m sorry that you also had to experience this horrible thing

I haven’t dated in 14 months. I’ve been in relationships for decades. I always wanted a family which was the driving force to stay in abuseive relationships, as well being highly empathic, wearing my heart on my shoulder, and being a man (and thinking I have to be the strongest one in the room or I’ll be perceived as weak and undesirable) I took pride in the fact that I could “stick it out”. This was the worst thing I could do.

Being a man and also having to go through 30 of my 50 years within the throes of abuse both in childhood and also in my adult life has been devastating to say the least. Sure, I’m a survivor, and I’m actually more or less successful in life. But I have now children and no family like I dreamed about.

So anyone here please hear this. Do whatever you can to do this:
1) examine you’re OWN narcissistic behavior and try to kill your pride each day. This is important lest you yourself become the victim and then abuse others which happens way too often
2) you can’t save an abusive narcissist, you can’t and it will fail.
3) you must leave. Prolonging it will make it worse. Yes it will will rip your heart out, but it’s easier to put back in when it’s still a heart rather than just waiting till your heart is destroyed.
4) seek to thrive not just survive. Love others with passion and sincerity. This is a must do if you want to heal: to love again.
5) forgive yourself and love yourself, this is different than being entitled so know the difference. I would out this first but for me it was hard to get to this one.
6) gender does not matter. Woman abuse men as much as men abuse women. Ladies don’t fall into this trap thinking it’s all about men abusing women. Otherwise you have to go back to number 1 on my list and see the part about you becoming the abuser and victim.

Don’t let the forces of negativity, fear, and evil win. I still suffer daily from this. If you are in this….get out now don’t wait. You can’t fix an abuser.

Currently I have not dated in 14 months, this unfortunately is a record for

Thank you so much for explaining everything so well and completely. Please keep it coming!

Hi Tracy: I’m so sorry for what you are going through. The best thing, as you already know, is to work toward trying to move toward thinking about if you can leave if the relationship is abusive. The damage will continue and only get worse. It is possible to do and there is a path on the other side that leads to a better life. Please stay strong! -Kristen