Category: Narcissist Abuse Tactics

Gaslighting is one of the most dangerous types of emotional abuse, yet gaslighting examples can be difficult to spot in everyday life. Why? It’s a covert form of abuse.  It only works because it’s invisible.  No one comes out and says they’re gaslighting you and, unlike more blatant forms of abuse, such as verbal abuse, the abuser can deny they’re doing something harmful to you. This is why gaslighting is so effective.  If we have any emotional investment at all in a person who frequently gaslights us, their manipulative gaslighting can create an almost insurmountable threat to our own ability...

Part of the reason why narcissistic abuse in relationships is so difficult to explain is that there is no simple way to describe either the way the abusers harm us or the effect it has on us. The abusive dynamic with a narcissist is actually formed through a series of mostly small interactions over a long period of time.   Those interactions affect us in many ways and the reasons why we stay bound to our narcissistic partners even when we want to leave become complicated. Here are six important concepts that explain narcissistic abuse in relationships. What Keeps Us Tied...

I’ve come to believe that the love bombing stage that takes place early in a relationship with a narcissist is the most sinister and dangerous period in the entire relationship. It’s discussed frequently, but usually only in conjunction with the other narcissistic abuse stages in the abuse cycle: idealization-devaluation-discard or sometimes (idealization-devaluation-discard-hoover). It’s often not discussed on its own, because the other stages feel so much more intensely negative that it’s easy to ignore why love bombing is so bad. What is Love Bombing? The narcissistic abuse dictionary defines love bombing as: “A period of intense positive attention from the...

Valentine’s Day is a sensitive and dreaded day for many people, regardless of relationship status.  Single people may dislike it. People in relationships can feel a lot of pressure to “do it right.” And it can definitely bring on negative emotions for those who are going through any type of breakup. Yet Valentine’s Day with a narcissist can be an absolute nightmare.  Narcissists are notorious for ruining big days such as birthdays, anniversaries and other holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas.  But everything about Valentine’s Day is tailor-made for them to wield it as a weapon to inflict maximum pain.  Valentine’s Day can...

Narcissists ruin holidays and make what should be a joyful time of year into a time of tears and anxiety–and sometimes even fear.  The holidays can be a painful time of year for people who are in relationships with narcissists. It can feel as if no matter how your relationship has been going with them before the holidays even start, they can find a way to use this time of year to cause additional pain. By taking advantage of the cultural norms and expectations surrounding holidays or the disruption to normal routines, they can find creative ways to hurt and...

What is coercive control? Most survivors of narcissistic abuse have probably not heard the term “coercive control,” but they should definitely become familiar with it.  Coercive control is a form of domestic abuse in which the abuser instills feelings of extreme dread and anxiety through psychological manipulation and environmental control.  The narcissistic abuse dictionary defines it as: “Excessive monitoring and covert or overt dominance over one or more areas of a partner’s life, such as finances, career, friendships, clothing choices, hobbies, or other. It usually begins as concern for the partner and is cloaked or hidden in many seemingly loving...

Some of the most destructive things that happen to us in our relationships with narcissists happen in our conversations with them. Their conversational tactics are known as “word salad.” The narcissistic abuse dictionary defines word salad as: “Circular language tactics narcissists use to ensure that conversations with others never have satisfactory resolutions for the other party; can include projection, stonewalling, blameshifting, sympathy ploys, bringing up something the partner did, bringing up unrelated issues, starting the conversation over, and others.” The purpose of word salad is to use our words against us. By using these circular conversational tactics, they manage to...