Wow…those are exactly my fears. I have not yet taken the step to move out because I have more fears, we have 2 kids and I don’t know how I can live without his daily physical support with the children and of course the home we have built together, the ease of life. Despite all this, I am always anxious, always debating whether I should stay or go but more of I need to go kind of feelings dominate. I really want to start over but sometimes I think maybe iam overreacting or am gonna lose it all to someone else and be miserable alone. I have so many fears yet now I understand my husband is a narc.

Yes I remember that feeling too. That’s why learning why they did what they did helped me move forward so much. Only people who have this mindset are capable of doing what they do. And people with this mindset are not capable of just changing overnight. This is what happens to them in every relationship. It may take months but they cannot sustain the idealization phase because it’s just that– idealization and they inevitably start to feel empty when the real world comes in. It was not you, that is how they project and make you believe you destroyed things.

Hi Jacky: I am so sorry you are going through this pain. I know these feelings very well. He has been controlling the situation for so long but now YOU are in control again and it feels so foreign. Every day it gets just a little easier until weeks pass and you look back at how far you have come and how much easier you can breathe. Your mind keeps getting clearer and clearer. All of these things will sink in as he is not around to cause more confusion and you will start to have your own life back again. You can do this. Every hour, every day away is another step forward into your new, stronger, better life. You may not see it now but it is out there waiting. Thank you for continuing to read my posts. ❤ -Kristen

I have to add something that became also very clear to me after reading your article and i hope it makes sense to somebody.
I’m afraid to let go..afraid that i see it all wrong and i have to keep believing in his kind words and the good times. That its true that i’m the one who’s difficult and destroying the relationship. That the next woman will be better for him..and i’m not good enough.
Its heartbreaking to feel this way and keeping my boundries, boundries i almost dont believe in…

Jacky

Your article comes at a time i need it so much. I’m in the fog but very aware of the truth. Its so clear. Your words about the fact that he doesnt care for me only about what i can do for him hurt very much but they are true. I feel in my gut its true but its very hard to accept. I will keep walking but at this moment…it feels like i’m standing just like you said. Its been a week i didnt hear from him because i’m not doing what he wants anymore and doing my best of keeping my boundries. Its so hard because the tention is moving up and now i’m getting the silent treatment. I’m feeling guilty of not reaching out to him but i know thats my thing and i have to keep my boundries but its so hard..

I cant thank you enough for your words, it makes me feel i’m not alone or crazy.

Thank you,

Jacky