Notes From Kristen

Video Post: Why It’s Important to Consider Whether Narcissists Can Love

I’m trying this new thing where I’m going to use videos to further explain and expand on some of the concepts in recent articles, especially if I really got into the topic and thought it was important. I’ve been having a lot of breakthroughs lately, so I’m hoping to share them any way that I can. Hope it helps!  Enjoy.


Kristen Milstead

Instagram: fairytaleshadows

3 thoughts on “Video Post: Why It’s Important to Consider Whether Narcissists Can Love

  1. Your description is spot-on, Kristen. My own observations and experiences corroborate much of what you’ve said here. When I caught my narcissistic ex-spouse cheating, and then confronted her, the change in her approach to me and to our 20-year relationship was unbelievably rapid. It was like someone had thrown a switch. She was very quick to declare “I don’t love you any more.” I instantly recognized that it hadn’t been a “relationship” at all, but more of a “regime” that had been almost entirely of her own construction–created for me, created to trap me, essentially, into providing whatever it was that she got from being in a “relationship” with me. Once busted, the game was over, and she became vicious. Exposure is the narcissist’s worst fear, and I had literally ripped the curtains off her extramarital activities. I’m now researching malignant narcissism, because I suspect that may be what she is. In addition, I think using the word “relationship” to describe interactions with a narcissist begs the modifier “inauthentic.” And that’s what we eventually come to recognize; that the “relationship” we’re in has a certain inauthentic quality, where one person is being sucked dry, and the other is providing only what is necessary to get what they want or need out of it. I began to doubt the nature of her love for me. After exposure, everything that came next was completely predictable: there was a massive smear campaign that supported her entitlement to continue doing whatever she wanted. When I finally gathered up the courage to file for divorce, she went into a palpable narcissistic rage. It was unbelievably nasty. I was glad I’d been advised to file for an ex parte restraining order as well.

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