Website Updates


I just wanted to take a few minutes to update you on the changes I’ve been making on the website over the last few days.

When I started the blog, it was just me talking into “the void,” with not a lot of thought about whether anyone would read it or the impact it might have. What that means is that I didn’t take a lot of time thinking about the structure of my posts or how they would be received, as there was no intended audience.  They were authentic and spontaneous, written from my heart as a result of what came into my mind on a specific day because of the thoughts or emotions I was having or sometimes because of the research I was reading.

I also didn’t worry a lot about the organization of the site other than from an aesthetic perspective. I tried to ensure that things looked attractive as an art form as part of the therapeutic aspects of developing it, but I didn’t envision how intuitive the site was for people to navigate. For example, would people be able to find posts on topics they wanted to read about?  Did the layout and categorical groupings make sense to someone besides myself? These are questions I did not consider.

Since starting this blog a little over two months ago, I was shocked, humbled and honored to learn that the things I’ve written here seem to resonate with other people who are also survivors of narcissistic abuse. It just made me realize that though my experiences are mine alone, there is so much that is universal in my story, perhaps I am not the only one that can heal through its telling.

In service to that idea, I’ve made a couple of attempts at making the site user-friendly while still maintaining the same overall tone that may have drawn people to it in the first place. The most recent attempt, while likely the most disruptive, will hopefully be the most beneficial and the last one for a while. The changes I made in website layout and organization are designed to give readers a variety of ways to find posts or resources. I expect to make a few more tweaks here and there especially as I get feedback, but, barring a major problem, the re-organization is over for now.

You may also notice that there are some new ads. I have added these to help cover the cost of running the website. Most user-friendly organizational layout options for websites with a lot of blog content are not available at no or lower-cost plans in WordPress.  I hope the ads will not be a problem for you as you read the material here.  Thank you for understanding that it helps me to provide the content.

As far as changes to the actual posts or content, I don’t intend to make any major style changes at this time other than ones that occur organically. Because my recovery is taking place in real time, it’s a dynamic blog that is capturing my thought processes about the relationship as time passes.  I recognize that although the posts have always been informal, there is a wide range of content forms, ranging from personal experience only to a summary of a topical issue that is written from a more detached or research-based point of view.  Over time, I will think of a way to categorize posts in such a way that readers can easily distinguish between the more subjective versus objective posts.  

One last thing:  if you are on the mailing list and received a series of posts yesterday that were unrelated to narcissistic abuse, please accept my apologies.  There was an error in transferring and merging my blog material into a new theme. I apologize for any inconvenience caused by the issue.

Thank you for your patience and thank you for reading my blog.




Kristen Milstead

Instagram: fairytaleshadows

4 thoughts on “Website Updates

  1. Thank you for this update and explanation about the changes. Since I just recently “discovered” your site, I have been reading and attempting to absorb all that I can (given the time I can). I consider you a miraculous show up when I needed it desperately!

    As you have stated in this post, MANY have identified with this blog as shown by the numbers so quickly. ONLY 2 MONTHS YOU HAVE HAD THIS?!? That’s the glory of the internet. I’m not hugely internet savvy, but my son is, and his girlfriend who worked at a help desk also is. Both live with me now since the split from the narcissist 8 months ago. I’m really just a consumer of newsletters and blogs and such. But because I read so many, I can give you tips from my point of view on what makes me stay with a site and what makes me cancel it. The content of course is the most important to me. But the maneuverability within it also sits high on my list. Your content is so important to me that I would stick with it even if it was difficult or annoying.

    So I’ll be here to comment and such.

    And by the way, all those posts I got yesterday – FASCINATING! You really do have a wonderful ability with allegory and metaphor to write a bestseller! All about NARCISSISM!

    1. Thank you! I am really glad to hear you have your son and daughter with you. That’s so important to have supportive people around you right now. Please let me know if you have any thoughts or suggestings on the layout for the website. I really appreciate your support.

  2. Dear Kristen. Thank you for all you do. Your writing snd sharing of your experience have been a great help to me in my recovery from narcisstic abuse. It is good to know I am not alone and that someone understsbd. A big hug for you, Ssra

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